10 Tips To Improve Emotional Intimacy

10 Tips To Improve Emotional Intimacy

Get Closer Than Ever: Practical Tips for Improving Emotional Intimacy in Your Relationship

Do you feel like your relationship lacks emotional intimacy? You may be right. And a relationship that’s lacking emotional intimacy is nowhere near as fulfilling as one that has affection and understanding.  If you’d like to enhance this area of your life then try using the following 10 tips.

1.     Embark on a New Adventure

While daily routines may feel comfortable and nice, they don’t always support the emotional intimacy that you or your partner may crave. This can also cause you to feel that your relationship has lost its spark. Trying something new can rekindle this spark and bring you and your partner closer emotionally.

2.     Embrace Physical Contact

Another thing that tends to disappear as relationships wear on is the amount of time that a couple spends touching one another. If you start to feel your emotional intimacy is slipping, make more time to spend touching one another, whether this is cuddling, a massage, or even just a hug before you leave for work each day.

3.     Keep in Contact

Sometimes when couples have been together awhile, their communication begins to fail even if they live together, and this can cause a loss of emotional intimacy. Even if you and your partner have been together for years, send each other cute messages during the day. This will help you feel more connected and increase your emotional intimacy.

4.     Show Appreciation

One of the top ways to increase emotional intimacy is to be vocal about your appreciation for one another. Although this can start one sided, don’t be afraid to let your partner know that you desire more appreciation, if they really care about you, they won’t be afraid to tell you how much they appreciate you!

5.     Don’t Stop Dating

Emotional intimacy can wane when couples move from the dating phase to the long-term relationship phase, and much of this is because they forget to continue dating even though they are now together. Thus if you want to restore emotional intimacy, it’s time to schedule a date night with your partner and try to do this on a weekly or bi-weekly basis.

6.     Have Your Own Life

Besides just dating and keeping in contact to keep a relationship emotionally intimate, you should also be sure to have a life outside of your partner. When the two of you spend every moment together, this can lead to irritation and other negative feelings while some time apart will help both of you to become emotionally closer the next time you see one another.

7.     Always Be Supportive

Support is a huge player when it comes to emotional intimacy. If you don’t support your partner, or feel that they don’t support you, this can really damage the way you feel towards each other. Although you may not always agree with your partners endeavors, resolve to always be supportive no matter what they do, and ask them to do the same for you.

8.     Share Your Fears

The hardest thing about improving emotional intimacy is that you have to learn to be vulnerable in your relationship. This means sharing the things that scare you, or that are stressing you out. This can be scary at first, especially if you aren’t used to speaking from a place of fear. But stick with it, because it will help you to feel better in the long run. Sometimes, if you find this especially difficult it may be helpful to write down what you want to say before you speak it out loud.

9.     Make Time for Deep Chats

Life is busy, and this doesn’t always leave time for more than the daily small talk. Unfortunately, this daily small talk is not enough to improve emotional intimacy. If you want to have real emotional intimacy with your partner you should schedule time to have some of the harder talks. Aim to have time to talk about the deep or difficult subjects at least once a week, maybe even twice if your schedule allows it.

10.  Reminisce

Chances are, you and your partner are still together because the two of you have had some great times together. And when you feel that the emotional intimacy in your relationship may not be all it used to be, then it might be time to reminisce about some of the great things you’ve done. This can help remind you and your partner of the things that have inspired emotional intimacy between you in the past and lead you back to a more emotionally intimate relationship.

Overall, you don’t have to use every tip on this list to bring emotional intimacy back into your life and relationship, so start with one or two and see how it goes! No matter which tips you pick, they are sure to help restore emotional intimacy back in your life so pick a couple and get started!

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

4 Ways to Teach Your Children About Imperfection

4 Ways to Teach Your Children About Imperfection

Perfectly Imperfect: Teach Your Children About Imperfection

We think we have to be perfect. Is this the case? What if instead of getting everything right on the first try, it’s sometimes better to make mistakes? Could imperfection actually be better than perfection? More importantly – how does this relate to our parenting?

Perfection is something we need to be concerned about. Our every action teaches our children something about the world. What we do when we make mistakes will guide them the rest of their lives. They will naturally mimic our response when they make mistakes for themselves. With this in mind, what should we teach our children about imperfection?

Take More Risks

If you have kids who tend toward perfectionism, then chances are they’re not likely to enjoy trying new things. After all, to their way of thinking, they don’t know if the new way will be something they like or not, so it’s better not to take a chance.

When you want to teach your children about the joys of imperfection, the first thing you need to do is show them it’s OK to take risks. Model this behavior by showing them how much you enjoy trying new things. Invite them to taste new foods, experiment with art, and go places they have never been before. Praise and acknowledge  them when they take chances on new things. Of course, sometimes, these experiments might not work out. When this happens, these experiences can become a teaching tool about how imperfection leads us to new knowledge.

Show Acceptance

Kids can be very fragile when it comes to how they feel you view them. When they make mistakes, their first reaction is to worry whether you will still like them or not. Here is an opportunity to use imperfection to show them you still love them unconditionally, whether they’re perfect or not.

Be Yourself

As your kids start to get older and spend more time with their peers, one of the biggest things that plagued them will be worry about how the world sees them. Even while they accept your love, they have a hard time accepting their peers like them. When these worries arise, it’s natural for the children to put up a facade of perfection. Here is where you need to encourage them to be themselves, imperfections and all. It is this honesty that will draw their peers toward them.

Have Fun

Last, but most important, is the ability to have fun. Imperfection drives us to keep working harder and harder at the same thing. Imperfection allows your child to let go and enjoy the process. Good enough is good enough. It’s better to laugh and play than to worry endlessly about getting it right.

Teach your children these things, and they will succeed far better in life than they ever would have if they’d instead been taught to pursue perfection. They’ll be much happier, too.

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

Unwind and Bond: Fun Ways for the Entire Family to Relax Together!

Unwind and Bond: Fun Ways for the Entire Family to Relax Together!

6 Ways to Unwind and Bond as a Family!

We all experience moments of stress, and families are no exception. It can become especially intense when it feels like there’s no break from running errands, going to school, working, and other obligations.

The key to handling this is to make sure to take some time to relax. Unwinding isn’t just about taking a break.

Unwinding as a family can strengthen their connections by engaging in shared experiences, communicating openly, creating positive memories, building trust, problem-solving, and creating a sense of togetherness that will last a lifetime. This blog post will discuss some quick ways families can unwind together, create lasting memories, and strengthen relationships.

Tell a Story

Choose a theme that ties all the stories together. It could be something like “family vacations,” “holiday traditions,” or “funny family moments.” Having a theme will keep the stories focused and make it easier to remember them. Use old photographs or videos for jogging the memory. Get everyone involved by encouraging everyone to describe how they remember the event. Events that are fun or funny are especially bonding. This is a fun and interactive way to learn about each other’s past experiences and pass on family traditions and history.

Watch a Movie

Speaking of laughter, this would be the perfect time for a comedy—funny movies help keep the mood light. Also, laughter has been proven through various studies to lower blood pressure while at the same time stimulating endorphins in the brain, which help us relax and feel good in the moment.

Have a Hot Beverage

What about some tea or hot chocolate? Warm beverages naturally require time to drink them, which gives everyone a breather. The warmth also reduces cortisol, a hormone associated with stress (why bubble baths can be so relaxing).

Take a Walk

Exercise has so many health benefits that it should almost go without saying. The best part about walking together is that it gives time for conversation without leaving anyone out. You can use a stroller for the youngest family members. For bonus points, look for a way to walk somewhere you can appreciate nature, such as in a park or a forest. Did you know being around plants of any variety can lower stress levels?

Have a Snack

While grabbing food when stressed isn’t a great habit, a little treat can improve the mood. Having a supply of snack-size sweets allows you to enjoy them without going overboard. Watch your kids’ eyes light up when offered an unexpected sweet.

Remember the Day

If you want to unwind at the end of the day, add this game to your bedtime routine. Go around the room and ask everyone to talk about something they enjoyed or were grateful for about the day.

Practice unwinding as a family regularly, which will give everyone something to look forward to during the week when things are stressful. Here are a few examples of family night activities:

    • Movie nights
    • Game nights
    • Regular outdoor activities like biking, hiking, picnic, rock climbing, or kayaking (non-structured and the whole family can participate in)
    • Cooking together
    • Arts & Crafts
    • Reading
    • Volunteering
    • Family dinners (best when done often)

You can use any of these activities as a stage for unwinding and weekly family meetings where you can engage in activities together and have the chance to talk, listen, and share thoughts and feelings. This communication helps family members better understand each other and build stronger connections.

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

Why Unwinding Is Essential for Both You and Your Children

Why Unwinding Is Essential for Both You and Your Children

Overcome Common Barriers and Relax

We all know that unwinding is good for us. After all, think how wonderful it feels to relax after a long, difficult day! There’s no better way to shed stress or ease worry. Unfortunately, though, sometimes unwinding is easier said than done. 

If you’re having difficulty unwinding, it’s time for intentionality in your subsequent actions. First, look at some barriers to letting go and what you can do about them.

If you’re having difficulty unwinding, it’s time for intentionality in your subsequent actions. First, look at some barriers to letting go and what you can do about them.

Current Events Have You Down

The problem with being plugged in every second of the day is we become very aware of what’s happening in the world. It can lead to many worries and stress about things happening worldwide, and it seems impossible to relax at the end of the day. The fix? Limit your media exposure. For example, make a point not to watch the news before bed or allow yourself only a certain amount of time to follow the news every day.

You Feel Like There’s Too Much to Do

The problem with being busy is that it’s always possible to get busier. While this can be great news for your business, it can wreak havoc on your ability to end the day and unwind. The fix? Create a schedule where you quit all extra activities for the day at a specific time. Then, if anything is unfinished, jot it down on tomorrow’s to-do list and let it go so you can unwind properly.

You Don’t Have Time to Unwind

This can be difficult, especially if you’re used to scheduling your day to be busy. The problem? You’re leading yourself straight to burnout. The fix? It’s pretty simple. Start planning time to unwind every day. Be strict with yourself about using it.

You Don’t Think You Deserve Time Off

Unfortunately, we were taught to be productive every minute of the day since we were children. It leads to many complicated feelings about taking time off, even to unwind at the end of the day. The fix? A reality check can do wonders here. Unwinding is a crucial part of being productive. Without rest, you can’t possibly do more later. Want to go even better? Spend time rewiring your brain to accept one straightforward truth: YOU DESERVE TIME TO YOURSELF. We all do—end of story. 

All of these can be barriers for our children, too. For example, if your child’s usual way of being is interrupted, and you see changes in sleep, eating, or resting patterns, it could be that the local or world news worries them. They may need to talk and tell you how they are feeling. You may need to reassure them that you are there to keep them safe. 

In today’s world, children’s schedules are packed so tight with things that we have been told are necessary to succeed. Children need time to unwind and be children. However, scheduling them with back-to-back activities or activities every evening after school is too much for many, if not all, children. 

They deserve time off. They need time to unwind; they need time with you and your family; and, most importantly, they need you and family time. Even more importantly, they need you to set an example for them of what it means to be balanced in life.

Clarity about what is important to you and your family will help you choose how to spend your time. Don’t be influenced by what others tell you your child “should” do. Instead, relax, be your best self, and practice what you know is best for you and your family.

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

Top Ten Stress Management Strategies

Top Ten Stress Management Strategies

The Best Practices for a Healthy Mind & Body

Nothing creates more destruction to the mind and body than stress. With anxiety around what has happened, what is happening right now, and what will happen tomorrow. In fact, the American Psychological Association (APA) recently reported that, “While numbers, prior to 2020, hovered around 30-35 percent of adults admitting extra stress due to societal stressors, the pandemic has made almost half of adults (48 percent) unsure about their stability.”

Commonly people are reporting the same stress effects: body tension, quick tempered, and unexpected mood swings.

With added pressure to adapt to a different lifestyle and thought process, many adults find themselves pulling back their emotions and reducing their interactions with others in fear of rejection or community ailments. Not only does this defeat the purpose of using your other attributes, but the extra tension will begin to affect your body and mind.

Let us look at the top ten stress management strategies that you can begin today to start feeling your best again:

Meditate Those Thoughts Away

Meditation is a form of focus on a certain action or verbiage. By mentally sorting through the moment that has caused dismay, gives your brain a chance to react on a more civil response as opposed to an emotional retort.

Find a quiet area to mindfully breath and unplug physically. If you experienced harsh words, focus on the words themselves, not the meaning. Remind yourself that this is not personal. Use these few minutes to work out the emotions and keep your focus on coming back to level mood.

Walk It Out

Exercising is a great tool to use when stressed. While there may not be time to hit the gym each day, a small walk around the neighborhood can help with de-stressing. With eternal sensors working with physical sensors, the brain does not have as much energy to keep up with stress and the task at hand.

Each time you do exercise, strive to do a little more each day. If walking around the block is helping your mind, but it is still racing, try a different route or walk around twice more. Use music to keep your enthusiasm going and drink water for hydration.

Control What You Can With A Daily Schedule

When things in your life seem uncontrollable or chaotic, check yourself. Are you changing your daily tasks to accommodate others more often or finding that the day is simply too short to complete chores? Write down what must be done. Make yourself accountable to any changes and the reasons why you deterred from any activities.

If you know there are certain errands such as grocery shopping or doctors’ visits, this will fall under a controlled task. Having a last-minute lunch with a co-worker is an un-controlled task. At the end of the day, check your schedule. Mark off any items that you completed and re-schedule the undone tasks for another day.

Do Not Forget Self-Care

In times of high stress, it is a natural reaction to put your own health on the back burner. Even though this may seem doable in short spurts, the effects it is having on the body and mind can last much longer creating poor habits.

Instead of reaching for the sweats and t-shirt, put on a favorite clothing item. If your hair needs a good trim, head to the local beautician or barber for an updated look. Once a month, treat yourself to a pedicure or facial. By taking the time to care for your body, your mind is flooded with feel good endorphins instead of anxiety.

Write A Letter

While this simple act may seem like a waste of time, it has quite the opposite effect. By expressing your thoughts to the subject about how the moment affected your thought process and beliefs, you are placing those feelings into the letter instead of yourself.

If your co-worker was using certain language while engaging in conversation with you earlier in the day, instead of calling out their behavior in person, express why it bothered your day. Keep the words professional and non-threatening. Read through the letter when you are done. Now throw it away along with the negative emotions.

Crank Up The Radio

After a long day at the office, you may not be in the mood for rock music but could be comforted by softer tunes. Pick music that brings happy memories and calming moments. Focus on the music as opposed to the lyrics. By having this minor distraction available, the body and mind have a chance to adapt.

If stress is disrupting your sleep patterns, turn on some white noise music. Think trickling water streams or forest sounds. Use deep breathing exercises to relax the body. Now lay down and enjoy the music.

Engage In A Hobby

While hobbies are often listed as outdoor activities, there are multiple indoor hobbies to engage in. From sewing to painting can be done in short sessions. The idea is to pick a hobby that engages your senses and mind. Not only does this make your mind feel productive, but your body will feel more relaxed.

If anxiety keeps you from sitting too long, keep different crafts around the house. Keep crosswords or books nearby for quiet moments. Use more active hobbies during the day, like building bird houses.

Make Friends With Nature

A quick and easy way to destress is to go outside. It can be as adventurous as a hike in the mountains or as calming as sitting on your porch. By giving your internal senses something else to concentrate on, the anxiety and stress will settle down. This is also a great way to soak up needed Vitamin D.

Each day, step outside. If the week is too busy for a nature hike, grab the family and do an ice cream run. While walking to the store for your treat, stop to look at different trees and flowers. Focus on what is growing around you, instead of the brick wall of anxiety.

Seek Out Therapy

While stress is a normal reaction to life changes, it can lead to long-term effects. If you find that the anxiety is disrupting your daily schedule, try therapy. A recent study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) concluded, “19.2 percent of U.S. adults received any mental health treatment in the past 12 months.”

Use these sessions to work through the stress and how you can avoid them in the future. Practice what your counselor suggests and keep yourself on a mental schedule. Before you know it, the anxiety is quieted, and your mind can think more rationally as opposed to emotionally.

Keep Your Thoughts Positive

When going through stressful times, the mind struggles to find the pragmatic solution. Work through each negative emotion and find a positive action. By mentally repeating this constructive thought process, the stress around the moment is brought into a more positive light.

If your anxious about a job interview, remind yourself why you are the right fit for the position. “I am unsure about the programs, but I am ready to learn.” By advocating for your senses, this allows for less anxiety and more mindfulness.

In Closing

Remind yourself that some stress can be healthy for your emotions. This not only keeps you alert to your surroundings but advocates for your feelings. As famed Lee Iacocca once claimed, “In times of great stress or adversity, its always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.”

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!