5 Tips to Help You Unwind When Worried

5 Tips to Help You Unwind When Worried

5 Tips for Helping You to Unwind when Worried

Some days we’d just rather not go through. Let’s face it, we all go through times of intense stress and worry. I understand that worrying can be overwhelming and stressful and the idea of unwinding at all in these circumstances can feel impossible. Remember that worrying is a natural human emotion and it’s okay to feel this way. Here are some words of encouragement and several tips designed to help you unwind even when you’re worried: 

Start By Getting Back into the Moment

A lot of what we’re doing when we’re worrying is living in the future. We’re caught in a world of ‘what ifs’ and speculation. This is why getting back into the here and now is crucial. Mindfulness or meditation can help you focus on where you are right now. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Don’t allow thoughts to intrude. Instead, allow yourself to drift, thinking about what you hear or smell. It doesn’t have to take long. Even a few minutes of mindfulness will help you to unwind significantly

Are You Being Reasonable?

What are you worried about most often? Is this a reasonable worry? Sometimes all we need to unwind is a quick reality check. You might be overthinking things. If you’re not sure if you see the situation clearly, this might be a good time to talk to someone else about what’s going on. You have people who care about you and are there to support you. Reach out to them and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

 Do they see things the same way?

Let Go

There are some things you won’t be able to change about what’s going on right now. Remind yourself that whatever is happening is just another piece of this particular segment of your life. You will get through it. You’ll find it easier to relax if you let go of what is out of your control.

Forget the Fortune-Teller

When we’re worried, we sometimes fall into the trap of thinking things are very black and white. But, generally speaking, things are seldom as bad as we imagine. So please take a deep breath and let the situation unfold as it will without trying to predict the future. 

What Are You Telling Yourself?

Sometimes we get in the habit of seeking out the negative, especially when it comes to ourselves. Could you be worried about something that isn’t even true? Consider the words you use when talking to yourself. If you use more negative than positive phrasing, change the dialogue to more positive statements. It’s much easier to unwind when you’re not constantly beating yourself up.

Worrying is a normal part of life, but it’s important not to let it consume you. 

Distorted thinking that starts much of our worrying crushes our self-esteem with feelings of despair, failure, anger, frustration, hopelessness, resentment, and anxiety. This can lead to doing and saying things we regret and never solving problems. Instead, it only leads to a high degree of dissatisfaction in life. 

While these tips might not necessarily solve the crisis you are feeling, they’ll help you put even difficult times into better perspective, allowing you to at least take some time to breathe and figure out the next steps.

Take it one step at a time. First, focus on the present moment. Analyze your thought process. Ask yourself if you have proof to support this thought. Finally, approach the issue differently and know you are not alone.

Believe in yourself and your abilities. You are capable of achieving great things, and you have the power to overcome any obstacle.

Keep a positive mindset, and take action towards your goals.

You’ve got this!

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

Top Ten Critical Mistakes to Avoid in Life

Top Ten Critical Mistakes to Avoid in Life

While life can be filled with many changes, it is counterproductive to constantly dwell on the negative side. When the body and mind are exhausted, you become less productive.

The emotions you are seeing and experiencing can begin to wear on your entire being. According to the National Science Foundation, “Around 80% of our thoughts are negative in nature. With twelve thousand to fifty thousand thoughts daily running through our minds, the negative tends to heavily outweigh the positive mind set.”

Let us look at the best ways to start being positive in your life again:

Critical Mistake #1 – Not Being True To Your Beliefs

As the mind and body must constantly adapt to societal demands, we sometimes lose ourselves in the process. As humans, we want the acceptance of others and their approval. However, when we consider other people’s words and actions, we find ourselves in a whirlwind of emotions because we do not stay true to our personal beliefs.

If you believe in being early to work each day but find your co-workers do not share that practice and often chide you for being the early bird, let them know why you stick to your schedule. Explain how it helps your day run more smoothly and gives you extra time for yourself before being productive. Then, you might change their minds.

Staying true to our personal beliefs can only be done when we have clarified what we value and the virtues we want to use as a guiding system for our family, relationships, and all parts of life. Defining the virtues and the behaviors that demonstrate those virtues with ourselves and the family while living them consistently – sticking with our beliefs – helps us feel positive in life.

Critical Mistake #2 – Wasting Your Time On Non-Productive Tasks

With modern technology, we find ourselves consistently checking our phones or computers. We use online games and television shows to forget about reality. However, over a short time, we find ourselves less active and more emotional.

Instead of reaching for the remote, go for a book. Immerse yourself in the story and let your body and mind have the needed time to rest. If you want something more physically challenging, take up gardening or join a tennis team at your local gym.

Critical Mistake #3 – Not Being Thankful

With so many things to do and think about, we often forget to be thankful—to ourselves or others. By not acknowledging those around us for their kind behavior, we are presenting a non-trustworthy aura. This not only limits our connections but also creates a negative thought process.

Next time you are in the store, and an employee goes out of their way for you by providing extra help, tell them how much you appreciate their time. Please do not make assumptions about who a person is by their job but by their personality. Leave yourself feeling good about your own personality.

Critical Mistake #4 – Holding Onto Resentment

It is almost inevitable that sometime during your adult life, people will treat you poorly. While we cannot return to that moment, we often carry a grudge for a lifetime. This disrupts our inner peace and makes us question our own convictions.

The first person you should forgive is yourself. Accept what happened and praise yourself for finding the strength to move on from this person’s words or actions. If you can forgive their behavior, do not forget about it. Each milestone will make you more aware of others and your thoughts and actions. Be accountable only to yourself.

Critical Mistake #5 – Functioning On Bad Habits

When life is more stressful, we find ourselves indulging in poor habits to accommodate our moods, from drinking alcohol to sleeping too much. Unfortunately, with each of these negative deflections, we create a pattern of destruction. So instead, focus on healthy habits for a sharp mind and healthy body.

Instead of reaching for the wine bottle, go for the water bottle and head outside. Use this time to exercise and clear your head. If the weather is not cooperating, pick a multi-step chore, like deep cleaning the garage. Remain focused on the task and less on the negative feelings.

Critical Mistake #6 – Neglecting Your Physical Health

When our internal emotions are taxed, our bodies are the first to break down. With poor diets and less self-care, the only one that pays the price is you. We are meant to consistently run on something other than potato chips and French fries. So spend some time rethinking your nutrition intake and finding new recipes that will fit better with your lifestyle.

Make a pact with yourself that you will try a healthy eating alternative once a week. For example, try a crisp, cold salad instead of having soup with your steak. When it comes to liquids, make it a challenge. If you want to drink a glass of water five times a day, keep track on an app or on a piece of paper. If the goals are met, reward yourself with a self-care treat like a new outfit.

Critical Mistake #7 – Reacting Instead Of Idling Your Thoughts

While every day cannot be sunshine and rainbows, we often react to others out of emotion instead of forethought. This not only leads to animosity but usually leaves us feeling embarrassed.

Instead of voicing your opinion before thinking it through, give yourself a few minutes to sort through the moment. Are the words you are about to express pessimistic in nature, or are your words filled with assurance? While it is okay to not agree with all beliefs, it is not okay to react unfavorably.

Critical Mistake #8 – Never Taking Chances

For some people, functioning in society brings more anxiety and less mental growth. When faced with changes, the reaction is to become more reclusive. This limits the possibility of achieving more and restricts our need for companionship.

If you have always wanted to take up painting but do not feel good enough to try, then the only one stopping you is yourself. The goal may be to give art pieces to the family for the holidays; while the desire is there, the action is stalling. So instead, start practicing on a piece of paper. The more you engage in this healthy habit, the more you desire to complete the objective.

Critical Mistake #9 – Making Material Items Top Priority

While it can be exhilarating to purchase a new car or vacation in the tropics every winter, the reality is that those moments are short-lived. So often, our time is spent planning and engaging in the activity while others around us become less stimulated. So instead, try including them in your plans.

Seeking other opinions lets you double-check your emotions and less about the newness. This also makes those around you feel included in your decisions and often gives you a sense of pride. Include others in your life and in planning experiences, and find joy in your relationships.

Critical Mistake #10 – Not Putting In The Effort

Daily, the mind is consistently making decisions. Though you may have the conviction to act upon those feelings, putting in the effort is the final piece. Apply these rules regarding work, family, and free time.

At the end of the day, you will feel more accomplished and eager to keep going. If the boss once again has asked you to stay late and complete a project, do so without malice. Though this may take away from your personal time, the accomplishment will reap mental and emotional rewards.

In Closing

By choosing healthier and more regular practices in life, your world will function more smoothly. On days requiring more attention, your calm demeanor and well-educated responses will guide you to a more grounded life. As American author Andy Andrews once said, “Life itself is a privilege, but to live life to the fullest- well, that is a choice.”

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

Unveiling the Joyful Wisdom: 8 Powerful Lessons to Embrace from Your Children

Unveiling the Joyful Wisdom: 8 Powerful Lessons to Embrace from Your Children

I often hear parents comment on how their children have taught them something, or they have learned so much from their children. It can be common to perceive parenthood as a one-way street where wisdom flows solely from parent to child. However, our children live with little of the ‘baggage’ we carry. By adopting the attitude and perspective of a child and remembering who you truly are, you can effectively address negative aspects of your life and unlock the limitless joy within the realm of family.

Let us explore the invaluable lessons and reminders that children can impart to us and the virtues they show effortlessly:

1. The Art of Forgiveness: Watch in awe as your children effortlessly exemplify the power of forgiveness. Within minutes, they can mend their bonds with fellow children, letting go of grudges and embracing pure love. Take a moment to reflect: How long does it usually take to fully forgive a peer? Allow your children to illuminate the path of forgiveness, guiding you towards profound healing and harmony. The virtue of Forgiveness.

2. Harnessing Imagination’s Magic: Observe the awe-inspiring creativity of children as they fashion a delightful game out of humble materials like dirt, a stick, or a bubblegum wrapper. Adults often need help to tap into their innate creative powers in this era of unlimited information but scarce inspiration. Let your children’s vibrant imaginations remind you of the joys of unfettered creativity. They are the key to unlocking novel perspectives and discovering new possibilities in your life. The virtue of Creativity.

3. Embracing Present-Moment Awareness: While adults grapple with wandering minds, children exemplify a remarkable quality: presence. When engaged in an activity, their focus remains undivided. Unlike adults, who juggle multiple thoughts, children effortlessly immerse themselves in the present moment. Cultivate mindfulness by following their lead and relinquishing thoughts of the past or future. By embracing the present, you invite tranquility and deep appreciation into your family’s daily experiences. The virtue of Mindfulness.

4. Embracing Spontaneity: You rarely witness a child meticulously planning their day or week. Instead, they seize the day, pursuing activities with unbridled spontaneity until joy dissipates. While planning has its place, introducing a touch of spontaneity can infuse magic into your life. Remember, life’s most remarkable opportunities often arise unexpectedly, refusing to wait for our carefully structured plans. Embrace the unexpected, and let joy and adventure find their way into your family’s daily tapestry. The virtue of Flexibility.

5. The Power of Open Minds: Children make decisions based on personal experiences, free from the influence of others, media, or preconceived notions. In contrast, adults are burdened by the opinions of others, the media’s sway, and the biases they have acquired over time. Challenge yourself to adopt a childlike openness, embracing the world with fresh eyes and an unprejudiced mind. Rediscover the joy of learning firsthand and allow new perspectives to enrich your family’s lives. The virtue of Openness.

6. Cultivating Enthusiasm: Witness the uncontainable excitement radiating from your child when embarking on a simple outing to the park or a visit to McDonald’s. Children find joy in the smallest things, while adults often struggle to ignite that spark. Release your inhibitions, let down your guard, and allow yourself to feel genuine enthusiasm for life’s everyday pleasures. You create an environment brimming with joy and positive energy by embracing childlike enthusiasm. The virtue of Enthusiasm.

7. Embracing Curiosity: Observe the insatiable curiosity inherent in children as they eagerly explore the world around them. Their endless stream of questions unveils a profound thirst for knowledge and understanding. When was the last time you pursued knowledge with the same fervor? Encourage your curiosity to flourish, and let it guide you toward meaningful discoveries. Embrace the wonder of learning alongside your children, and foster a home where curiosity thrives. The virtue of Wonder or Awe.

8. Nurturing Social Connections: Children can effortlessly maintain and expand their social circles. They eagerly reach out to friends, spending quality time with them and readily forging new connections. As adults, limiting social interaction with work colleagues or acquaintances is common. Nurture your own social life by following the example set by your children. Foster meaningful relationships, make time for friends, and embrace the power of genuine connections within your family’s social fabric. The virtue of Friendliness and Loyalty.

Children embody forgotten wisdom, as they naturally embody the joys of life, enthusiasm, and the power of social connections. Today, let’s approach life with the heart of a child, embracing the valuable lessons your children offer. By unlocking the secrets to happiness and joy through their eyes, you embark on a transformative journey that will positively impact your family life. Open your hearts, for your children are extraordinary teachers. Embrace the wisdom they share, and bask in the immeasurable happiness that awaits you all.

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

Creating a Values-Based Environment: 7 Essential Tips for Parents

Creating a Values-Based Environment: 7 Essential Tips for Parents

The Four C’s of Successful Families

As parents, we all want our children to grow up to lead meaningful lives, grounded in strong values and purpose. By establishing a values-based environment at home, we can play a crucial role in shaping their character, fostering empathy, and nurturing their desire to make a positive impact on the world.

In this blog post, we will explore seven essential tips for parents who aspire to create such an environment, emphasizing the Four C’s of Successful Families –  clarity, communication, consistency, and a supportive community.

1. Clarity: Define and Communicate Core Values:

Start by identifying the core values you want to instill in your family. Discuss these values openly with your children and explain their importance. Encourage them to share their own perspectives and values as well. This process not only helps establish a shared understanding but also promotes critical thinking and self-reflection.

2. Communication: Foster Open Discussions:

Create a safe space for open discussions about values, purpose, and the significance of positively impacting others and the world. Encourage your children to express their thoughts, concerns, and questions without judgment. Listen actively and respect their opinions, even when they differ from your own. Engage in meaningful conversations that allow them to explore their beliefs and develop their own sense of purpose.

3. Consistency: Establish Consistent Routines:

Consistency is key to creating a values-based environment. Establish routines that reflect your family’s core values. For example, if compassion is an important value, engage in regular acts of kindness together as a family. If personal growth is valued, set aside time for reading, learning, or pursuing hobbies. By making these activities part of your family’s routine, you reinforce the importance of these values in everyday life.

4. Community: Cultivate a Supportive Community:

Creating a values-based environment extends beyond the walls of your home. Seek out like-minded individuals and communities that share your family’s values. Engage in activities and events that provide opportunities for your children to interact with individuals who are making a positive impact. This broader community can serve as a source of inspiration, support, and encouragement for your family’s journey.

5. Encourage Responsibility and Autonomy:

Empower your children by giving them age-appropriate responsibilities and encouraging independent decision-making. Allow them to take ownership of their actions and the consequences that follow. This fosters a sense of accountability and teaches them the importance of making choices aligned with their values. Guide them gently when needed, but also allow them space to learn and grow.

6. Embrace Imperfection and Growth:

No family or individual is perfect, and it’s essential to embrace this reality. Encourage a growth mindset within your family, emphasizing the importance of learning from mistakes and setbacks. Celebrate small wins and milestones along the way, and provide constructive feedback when needed. By fostering an environment that values growth and resilience, you equip your children with the tools they need to navigate challenges and persevere in their pursuit of a meaningful life.

7. Lead by Example: (this could be the most important)

Children learn best through observation and modeling. Showcase your own commitment to your values and demonstrate behaviors that align with them. Be conscious of how you handle challenges, conflicts, and ethical dilemmas. When you make mistakes, openly acknowledge them and demonstrate accountability. Your actions will speak louder than words and shape your children’s understanding of living a meaningful life.

Creating a values-based environment at home is a deliberate and ongoing process that requires clarity, communication, consistency, and a supportive community.

By defining and communicating core values, fostering open discussions, leading by example, establishing consistent routines, encouraging responsibility and autonomy, cultivating a supportive community, and embracing imperfection and growth, you can provide your children with a solid foundation for a meaningful and purposeful life.

Remember, the journey is as important as the destination, so enjoy the process of nurturing your children’s values and witnessing their growth into compassionate and purpose-driven individuals.

Cultivating Self-Worth in Teens

Cultivating Self-Worth in Teens

Over the past couple of weeks I have been working on creating a guide to empower parents to develop the feelings of self-worth in their teens. The truth is though it is never too early to start – and it is also never too late. 

As parents, we play a crucial role in shaping our teenagers’ self-worth and self-confidence. In a world that often breeds comparison and external validation, it’s important to create an environment where our teens can develop a strong sense of self-worth. Below we have outlined practical strategies that empower parents to foster their teenagers’ self-esteem. By implementing these techniques, you can support your teen in building a solid foundation of self-worth and resilience.

1. Love Unconditionally:
Unconditional love serves as the bedrock for your teenager’s sense of self-worth. Emphasize that your love for them is not contingent on external achievements, such as grades, athletic performance, or popularity. By valuing them for who they are, rather than what they can do, you create a safe space for them to grow and thrive. Even during disagreements, reinforce that your love remains steadfast.

2. Support Their Choices:
Instead of imposing your agenda on your teenager, provide unwavering support for their choices. Encourage their participation in activities and interests that align with their passions, talents, and aspirations. Avoid shaming or disappointment if their choices diverge from your expectations. By fostering autonomy and self-discovery, you empower your teen to make informed decisions, enhancing their self-worth.

3. Embrace a Growth Mindset:
Promoting a growth mindset cultivates resilience and a belief in continuous personal growth. Help your teenager understand that abilities can be developed through effort, practice, and learning from failures. Encourage them to embrace new challenges, explore different interests, and see setbacks as opportunities for growth. By adopting a growth mindset, your teen can develop a strong sense of self-confidence and adaptability.

4. Teach Assertiveness:
Empower your teenager to assert themselves by setting clear boundaries and respecting their autonomy. Lead by example, practicing assertiveness in your own interactions. Encourage open communication and teach them respectful ways to express their needs, opinions, and concerns. By equipping them with these skills, they will learn to advocate for themselves and others, fostering a healthy sense of self-worth.

5. Be a Model of Confidence:
Believe in your teenager’s potential and consistently remind them of their capabilities. Instill in them a belief that they can achieve great things and overcome challenges. Celebrate their accomplishments, no matter how small, and provide guidance when they face difficulties. By modeling confidence and resilience, you inspire your teen to develop their own self-assurance.

Whether you have teens or young children, helping them develop a strong sense of self-worth is a journey that requires patience, understanding, and consistent support. By implementing the strategies outlined above, you can create a nurturing environment that fosters their self-esteem and empowers them to thrive. Remember, the path to self-worth is paved with unconditional love, encouragement, and the cultivation of virtues.

You can get the complete guide here, Cultivating Self-Worth in Teens, where you will find details on how to implement the strategies outlined above. If your children are younger than teens simply adjust your strategies to meet them where they are developmentally.

By embracing the Four C’s framework of Clarity, Communication, Consistency, and Community, you can continue to strengthen your family’s values and create a lasting impact on your teenager’s well-being.

If you found these suggestions valuable and would like to learn more about how the virtues and the Four C’s framework can enhance your family dynamics, reach out to me. I am dedicated to supporting parents and their children on their journey towards a harmonious and fulfilling family life. Together, let’s create a future where every teenager embraces their self-worth and achieves their dreams.