Excellence

Excellence

by | Jun 26, 2021 | Virtues

Description

Excellence is giving our very best to any task we do and any relationship we have. Within us are many possibilities. Excellence hones our talents and turns them into gifts for the world. Excellence requires us to practice humility by learning from mistakes. Each time we do something, we seek to improve it, to keep raising the bar. Excellence is effort guided by a noble purpose. It is ongoing mastery. It flows when we are doing what we love. The perfection of a seed is the fruit that grows from it. Excellence in our lives brings our gifts to fruition.

Quote

“When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.”   John Ruskin

“I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end.”  Abraham Lincoln

“May you discover your own special abilities and contribute them toward a better world.”  Charlene Costanzo

 The Practice of Excellence

  • I give my best to all that I do.
  • I give my best to my relationships.
  • I am a lifelong learner.
  • I fulfill my true possibilities.
  • I strive for mastery.
  • I work with love.

“Attention to little things is a great thing.”  St. John Chrysostom

 

Definitions and practices of virtue are used with permission from the Virtues Project™.

In Family Life

In a family, excellence is a guiding principle that inspires each member to pursue their highest potential. It is demonstrated through the collective commitment to continuous improvement, where family members support and challenge one another to achieve their personal and shared goals. Excellence is cultivated through open and honest communication, where ideas are shared and differences are respected, fostering growth and understanding.

It is evident in how family members celebrate each other’s successes and provide unwavering encouragement in times of adversity. In a family dedicated to excellence, values of hard work, determination, and resilience are instilled, ensuring that each member thrives individually and contributes to the family’s overall well-being and legacy of greatness.

Balancing Excellence

To maintain a healthy balance of excellence, several complementary virtues can be beneficial:

      • Humility: Humility helps counteract the overdevelopment of excellence by reminding us that it’s okay to make mistakes and that no one is perfect. It encourages us to learn from our errors and grow.
      • Patience: Patience is essential to prevent the frustration and anxiety that may accompany the pursuit of perfection. It allows us to progress reasonably, understanding that excellence is an ongoing journey.
      • Compassion: Compassion helps us avoid unrealistic expectations for others and fosters understanding and forgiveness when people fall short. It promotes healthier relationships and collaboration.
      • Courage: Courage is necessary to overcome the fear of failure associated with the underdevelopment of excellence. It empowers us to take risks, embrace challenges, and put in the effort required for growth.
      • Self-Care: Self-care is crucial to balance excellence as it reminds us to prioritize our well-being. It ensures that we don’t neglect ourselves while striving for excellence in various aspects of life.

When practiced in moderation and balanced with other virtues like humility, patience, compassion, courage, and self-care, excellence is a valuable virtue that can lead to personal and professional fulfillment without the negative consequences of overdevelopment or underdevelopment. Embrace excellence, but remember it is a journey, not a destination.

Being Excellent

  • Give your best to whatever you do
  • Don’t try to do everything
  • Develop you special gifts
  • Remember to plan and practice

Reflection Questions

  • List the names of three famous people who excel in their field. How do they show it?
  • Name a time you chose to practice excellence.
  • Name a time you needed excellence. Did you practice it or did you choose to give up?

Practicing the virtue of Excellence within a family setting involves striving for the best version of oneself and fostering a culture of continuous improvement. Here are five ways family members can practice this virtue:

  1. Setting High Standards: Encourage each family member to set high personal standards and goals in various aspects of life, such as academics, sports, hobbies, or personal development. Emphasize the importance of putting in effort and dedication to achieve these goals.
  2. Supporting Each Other’s Growth: Create an atmosphere of support and encouragement where family members uplift and motivate each other to improve and excel. Celebrate each other’s successes and provide constructive feedback when needed.
  3. Promoting Lifelong Learning: Instill a love for learning in the family by reading together, discussing educational topics, or attending workshops and seminars. Encourage curiosity and the pursuit of knowledge in various areas of interest.
  4. Recognizing and Celebrating Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate individual and collective achievements within the family. Whether big or small, recognizing accomplishments reinforces the value of striving for excellence.
  5. Emphasizing Continuous Improvement: Teach the concept of continuous improvement by emphasizing that excellence is not about being perfect but about consistently growing and bettering oneself. Embrace failures and setbacks as learning opportunities and encourage resilience in facing challenges.

By practicing these ways, family members can cultivate a culture of excellence that fosters personal growth, mutual support, and a shared commitment to being their best versions.

Orderliness

Orderliness

by | Jun 26, 2021 | Virtues

Description

Orderliness is the practice of bringing harmony and balance to our surroundings and within ourselves. It is about creating an environment that supports peace and clarity by giving everything its rightful place and maintaining it with care. When our spaces—at home, work, or in our minds—are well organized, we invite a sense of freedom and beauty into our lives. The absence of physical and mental clutter clears the way for creativity, focus, and genuine abundance.

Living with orderliness allows us to approach tasks with purpose and direction. Instead of feeling overwhelmed or scattered, we move forward with deliberate steps, confident in our ability to manage life’s demands effectively. Orderliness also encourages us to trust in the unfolding of a greater Divine order, finding a still point of balance within ourselves even amid life’s uncertainties.

This virtue is not about perfection but about intentional living. By prioritizing what matters most and letting go of what no longer serves us, we make room for growth, clarity, and peace. Through orderliness, we honor the beauty of simplicity and the joy of a life lived with purpose and grace.

Affirmations for Orderliness

1. I create a peaceful space by giving everything its rightful place.
This reinforces the habit of organizing your environment, making it easier to find what you need and fostering a sense of calm.

2. I let go of what no longer serves me to make space for abundance.
Decluttering allows you to release physical and mental burdens, opening the door to clarity and opportunity.

3. I plan my tasks with focus and purpose, step by step.
Breaking tasks into manageable steps prevents overwhelm and ensures consistent progress.

4. I take one small action each day to maintain order in my life.
Consistent, small efforts build lasting habits and keep chaos at bay.

5. I trust that Divine order is unfolding in my life.
Surrendering to a higher order cultivates inner peace and resilience amid uncertainty.

6. I embrace routines that bring structure and ease to my day.
Routines reduce decision fatigue, creating space for creativity and productivity.

7. I honor my commitments and follow through with care.
This builds reliability and reinforces a sense of purpose and discipline.

8. I keep my thoughts organized by prioritizing what truly matters.
Focusing on essentials clears mental clutter and helps you stay grounded.

9. I bring beauty and harmony to my spaces as a reflection of my inner peace.
Surrounding yourself with beauty inspires joy and reinforces the value of order.

10. I approach challenges with calm and a clear plan of action.
A calm, organized response to challenges prevents panic and leads to effective solutions.

Quotes

“Order is the soul of the universe..” — Plato

“Peace is the tranquility of order.” — St. Augustine

“To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.” — Mahatma Gandhi

Orderliness In Family Life

Orderliness in family life is about creating an environment where everyone feels calm, supported, and empowered. It brings structure and beauty to daily routines, physical spaces, and relationships. For parents, Orderliness means fostering clear expectations, maintaining consistent routines, and modeling the care and discipline needed to keep life organized. For children, it involves learning to take responsibility for their belongings, completing tasks step by step, and contributing to the family’s shared goals.

In an orderly home, everything has a place, and everyone understands their role in keeping it that way. Decluttering physical spaces and simplifying schedules allows for greater focus on what truly matters—time together, shared values, and meaningful connections. Orderliness is not about striving for perfection but about finding balance, reducing stress, and creating an atmosphere where love and growth can thrive.

When families embrace Orderliness, they experience the freedom that comes with organization. Tasks are efficiently completed, transitions are smoother, and there is more time to enjoy one another. By teaching and modeling Orderliness, parents provide their children with a life skill that promotes peace, purpose, and the confidence to navigate the world effectively.

Balancing Orderliness

When balanced, orderliness creates a sense of harmony, clarity, and peace in family life. It fosters organization, purpose, and beauty, helping parents and children thrive. However, when overdeveloped, orderliness can lead to rigidity or perfectionism, and when underdeveloped, it may result in chaos or neglect. The following virtues help ensure that Orderliness remains a positive and constructive force within the family.

      • Flexibility:  Encourages adaptability when plans change or imperfections arise, preventing rigidity in maintaining order.

      • Patience:  Helps family members accept that creating and maintaining order takes time and effort, fostering understanding and grace.

      • Creativity:  Invites imaginative solutions to challenges, ensuring Orderliness does not stifle innovation or self-expression.

      • Compassion:  Ensures that the pursuit of Orderliness considers the emotional needs and capacities of each family member.

      • Humility:  Promotes the acknowledgment that mistakes and messes are part of life, fostering a forgiving and relaxed attitude.

      • Generosity:  Balances Orderliness by prioritizing relationships and shared moments over strict adherence to routines.

      • Joyfulness:  Reminds families to find happiness in the process of creating order, rather than focusing solely on the end result.

      • Courage:  Encourages families to embrace change and let go of unnecessary clutter or outdated systems, even when it feels uncomfortable.

      • Moderation:  Helps maintain a healthy balance between structure and spontaneity, ensuring Orderliness is not overwhelming.

      • Trust:  Builds confidence in each family member’s ability to contribute to the family’s shared order without constant oversight.

Maintaining a balance of virtues ensures that Orderliness enhances family life rather than detracting from it. By cultivating these complementary qualities, parents and children create a home environment that supports growth, connection, and well-being. When Orderliness is grounded in balance, it becomes a tool for harmony and joy, rather than a source of stress or conflict.

Joe is a husband, father, grandfather, author, speaker, educator, course creator, and parent/family coach.

He helps parents develop unity, find clarity, communicate, and develop consistency in their parenting with the Four C’s of Successful Families. You can find his work on social media.

In addition, the Four C’s newsletter is enjoyed by many as it encourages parents to self-care, build their relationships with their partners, and raise their children. 

And he loves to golf! 

Joseph Michael
Excellence

Enthusiasm

by | Jun 25, 2021 | Virtues

Description

Enthusiasm is being filled with spirit. It means “God within”. When we live with enthusiasm, we are excited about life and are open to the wonders each day holds. We do things wholeheartedly, with zeal and eagerness, holding nothing back. We allow the excitement of the moment to fill us. We enjoy good humor. We live in the moment and appreciate what we have, finding joy in simple pleasures. We are cheerful and optimistic about what is to come. Enthusiasm helps us to imagine what is possible. We follow our dreams with true joy.

Quote

“And whatsover you do, do it heartily. ”

— Colossians 3:23

 The Practice of Enthusiasm

  • I am excited about my life.
  • I do things wholeheartedly.
  • I am inspired by simple things.
  • I put love and joy into what I do.
  • I smile, laugh, and have a good sense of humor.
  • I have a positive spirit.
Definitions and practices of virtue are used with permission from the Virtues Project™.

In Family Life

The virtue of enthusiasm in a family is exemplified through an atmosphere of genuine excitement, support, and energy that permeates daily interactions. It is demonstrated by family members actively engaging in each other’s passions and interests, whether cheering on a child’s soccer game, participating in a parent’s hobby, or celebrating a sibling’s achievements.

Enthusiasm within the family means being genuinely interested and invested in each other’s lives, encouraging one another to pursue dreams and goals, and fostering an environment where everyone feels empowered to explore their talents and interests. This virtue brings forth a sense of shared joy, nurturing strong bonds, and a sense of togetherness that can weather any challenge.

Balancing Enthusiasm

To maintain a healthy balance of enthusiasm, several virtues can come to our aid:

    • Moderation: The virtue of moderation can help temper over-enthusiasm. Individuals can learn to channel their enthusiasm into productive and sustainable pursuits by practicing moderation. They’ll avoid burnout and ensure they approach tasks and goals with thoughtful consideration.
    • Patience: Patience helps counter underdeveloped enthusiasm. Individuals can persevere through challenges and setbacks with more tempered optimism when they cultivate patience. This virtue encourages them to keep their long-term goals in mind and stay committed even when the initial excitement wanes.
    • Humility: Humility reminds us to remain grounded in our enthusiasm. It encourages us to appreciate life’s simple pleasures and not let success or enthusiasm inflate our egos. Humility keeps us connected to others, preventing us from becoming self-centered in our enthusiasm.
    • Gratitude: Gratitude complements enthusiasm by encouraging us to appreciate what we have and find joy in the present moment. Practicing gratitude can help us avoid taking things for granted and maintain a positive outlook.

While enthusiasm is a wonderful and uplifting virtue, it must be balanced like any other virtue. Overdeveloped enthusiasm can lead to recklessness and exhaustion, while underdeveloped enthusiasm can result in a lack of motivation and fulfillment. Embracing virtues such as moderation, patience, humility, and gratitude can help us harness the power of enthusiasm in a way that enhances our lives and the lives of those around us.

Endurance

Endurance

by | Jun 25, 2021 | Virtues

Description

Endurance is the strength within us that enables us to face and overcome adversity. It is not just about surviving hardships but about growing through them. In moments of challenge, endurance encourages us to persevere with patience and an open heart, knowing that difficulties often carry valuable lessons. It calls us to stay hopeful and resilient, to believe in ourselves even when the path ahead is unclear.

Endurance strengthens our character, like steel forged in fire, and deepens the bonds we share with others. In relationships, enduring through tough times builds trust, loyalty, and love that is unshakable. Much like sailors who learn to navigate through storms by trusting the stars, we become more confident and capable as we weather the trials of life.

At its core, endurance is the virtue that empowers us to stay the course, to keep going when it’s tough, and to emerge on the other side not only intact but stronger and wiser. Whether in personal struggles, professional challenges, or relational conflicts, endurance is the quiet force that carries us through, reminding us that we are capable of more than we often realize.

 

Affirmations for Endurance

1. I am capable of handling whatever comes my way.
This builds confidence, reminding you that you have the inner strength to face challenges and reinforcing your resilience.

2. Every challenge is an opportunity to grow.
Shifts the mindset from seeing difficulties as setbacks to viewing them as chances for personal development.

3. I will take one step at a time.
Encourages focus on manageable actions, reducing overwhelm and helping you endure by breaking tasks into smaller pieces.

4. I trust the process, even when I cannot see the outcome.
It reminds you to have faith in the journey, helping you stay committed even when the path seems uncertain.

5. I am patient with myself and others.
Cultivates patience, a key part of endurance, allowing you to handle frustrations with calmness and grace.

6. I am learning something valuable from this experience.
Encourages reflection on the lessons within hardship, turning difficulty into a learning experience that strengthens endurance.

7. I am stronger than I was yesterday.
Focuses on progress, no matter how small, reinforcing the idea that every day of perseverance builds strength

8. I will stay the course and not give up.
A powerful commitment to persistence, this affirmation solidifies your resolve to keep going, no matter the obstacles.

9. I am grateful for my resilience and ability to overcome.
Gratitude shifts focus to the positive aspects of your endurance, helping maintain motivation and a positive outlook.

10. I embrace discomfort as part of my growth.
Accepting discomfort as a natural part of growth helps reduce resistance to challenges, making it easier to persist through difficult times.

Quotes

“He conquers who endures.” — Persius

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” — The Bible Galations 6:9

“The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.” — Molière

Endurance In Family Life

Endurance in family life is the ability to remain steady, loving, and resilient through the ups and downs that naturally arise in relationships. It is nurtured through patience, mutual support, and a commitment to staying present and connected, even when times are challenging. Families that practice endurance develop a deep sense of trust and loyalty because they know they can rely on each other when life gets tough.

Nurturing Endurance in the Family:

  • Consistency in Love and Discipline: Endurance is nurtured when parents consistently show love, care, and discipline, regardless of the circumstances. This teaches children that love is not dependent on external conditions and that difficult moments don’t change the foundation of family life.
  • Patience Through Challenges: Whether it’s dealing with a toddler’s tantrums, a teenager’s growing independence, or the struggles of balancing work and home life, families can nurture endurance by approaching these situations with patience. Taking a breath, stepping back, and responding calmly instead of reacting hastily models perseverance for children.
  • Encouraging Resilience in Each Other: When a family member is facing a difficult time, whether personal or external, supporting them through their journey helps build endurance. This includes offering words of encouragement, actively listening, and reminding one another that challenges are part of growth.
  • Shared Values and Goals: Families with a strong sense of shared values and goals are better equipped to endure. By clarifying what matters most—whether it’s love, unity, education, or kindness—family members can hold on to these values when things get tough, helping them stay the course together.

Expressing Endurance in Family Life:

  • Forgiveness and Understanding: Every family faces moments of misunderstanding or frustration. Endurance is expressed when family members are willing to forgive and give each other grace, understanding that relationships require effort, and mistakes are part of the journey.
  • Commitment to One Another: Endurance in family life is seen in the quiet, ongoing acts of support—helping each other through illness, celebrating victories, and standing by one another during hardships. It’s about being there, not just when it’s easy but especially when it’s hard.
  • Modeling Endurance for Children: Parents can express endurance by modeling it for their children. Showing how to stay committed to goals, work through challenges, and maintain a positive outlook even during stressful times teaches children the value of perseverance.

In essence, endurance in family life is about holding on to love, trust, and patience, weathering challenges together, and emerging stronger as a unit. When endurance is practiced, family bonds deepen, and each member feels secure in the knowledge that, no matter what, they are not alone.

Balancing Endurance

Endurance, when balanced, becomes a powerful force in family life, allowing us to face difficulties with strength while maintaining our sense of purpose. However, if endurance is overdeveloped, it can lead to burnout or unhealthy persistence in situations that need change. On the other hand, if underdeveloped, we may give up too easily in the face of adversity. To maintain the right balance, other virtues work alongside endurance, ensuring it stays grounded and healthy in family dynamics.

      • Discernment: Helps us recognize when it’s time to adjust our approach or let go, preventing endurance from becoming blind persistence in unwise situations.
      • Patience: Moderates endurance by allowing us to calmly wait for the right moment to act, avoiding impulsive decisions that might lead to frustration.
      • Compassion: Reminds us to be gentle with ourselves and others, ensuring that our pursuit of goals doesn’t come at the expense of emotional well-being.
      • Flexibility: Encourages adaptability, allowing us to stay the course when appropriate but also pivot when circumstances change, preventing rigidity in our persistence.
      • Courage: Fuels endurance by giving us the bravery to face hardships, but it also helps us take bold steps toward necessary changes when enduring becomes harmful.
      • Humility: Helps us recognize our limitations, encouraging us to seek help or guidance rather than enduring alone through struggles that require support.
      • Hope: Sustains endurance by keeping our spirits uplifted, helping us stay optimistic without falling into despair when challenges take longer than expected to resolve.
      • Moderation: Prevents endurance from turning into over-exertion, reminding us that balance is key in all areas of life, including how much we push ourselves.
      • Wisdom: Guides endurance by helping us see the bigger picture, allowing us to make thoughtful decisions about when to persist and when to shift our focus.

Maintaining a balance of virtues is essential for the well-being of both parents and children. Endurance, while vital, must be tempered by virtues like discernment, compassion, and flexibility to prevent it from becoming counterproductive. By nurturing a balanced approach, families can foster resilience and growth without sacrificing emotional health or well-being, creating a home environment where perseverance is a source of strength and wisdom.

 

Joe is a husband, father, grandfather, author, speaker, educator, course creator, and parent/family coach.

He helps parents develop unity, find clarity, communicate, and develop consistency in their parenting with the Four C’s of Successful Families. You can find his work on social media.

In addition, the Four C’s newsletter is enjoyed by many as it encourages parents to self-care, build their relationships with their partners, and raise their children. 

And he loves to golf! 

Joseph Michael
Empathy

Empathy

by | Jun 25, 2021 | Virtues

Description

Empathy is the profound ability to step into another’s world and compassionately understand their experiences, thoughts, and emotions. It allows us to connect deeply with others, honoring their humanity and fostering a sense of shared understanding.

Through empathy, we listen to words and unspoken feelings, offering a safe space for others to explore their thoughts more clearly. This virtue transcends barriers, dismantling prejudice, blame, and judgment—those forces that divide us. Instead, it binds us together, reminding us of our shared humanity.

Empathy inspires us to consider the impact of our actions on others. It moves us toward fairness and justice, encouraging us to advocate for the dignity and well-being of every person, including those with whom we may not agree. By cultivating empathy, we nurture generosity and selflessness, building bridges where walls might otherwise stand.

At its heart, empathy is the thread that connects us all. It allows us to live with greater compassion, humility, and kindness, making it a guiding light for individuals and communities in all walks of life.

Affirmations for Empathy

1. I will listen to others without interrupting or judging.
Active listening creates space for understanding and shows respect for the other person’s feelings and experiences.

2. I will seek to understand before seeking to be understood.
Prioritizing the other person’s perspective helps foster connection and mutual respect.

3. I will imagine myself in their place to understand their feelings better.
Practicing perspective-taking nurtures compassion and reduces misunderstandings.

4. I will acknowledge the emotions of others, even when I do not fully agree with their perspective.
Validating emotions builds trust and strengthens relationships, even in moments of disagreement.

5. I will approach every conversation with curiosity and an open heart.
A curious mindset helps break down barriers and encourages deeper understanding.

6. I will ask, ‘How would I feel in their situation?’ before reacting.
This habit encourages thoughtful responses and reduces impulsive judgments.

7. I will practice patience when others express their thoughts and feelings.
Patience allows others the time and space to share, fostering a sense of safety and openness.

8. I will notice the emotions behind someone’s words and actions.
Paying attention to underlying feelings helps uncover unspoken needs and concerns.

9. I will remind myself that everyone is fighting a battle I cannot see.
Recognizing hidden struggles builds compassion and reduces blame or criticism.

10. I will be kind to myself as I practice empathy for others.
Self-compassion ensures that empathy comes from a place of balance and care, preventing burnout.

Quotes

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… until you climb into his skin and walk around in it..” — Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

“Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in your life, you will have been all of these.” — George Washington Carver

“When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy decreases, and positive energy replaces it. That’s when you can get more creative in solving problems.” — Stephen Covey

Empathy In Family Life

Empathy in family life is the ability to connect deeply with each other’s feelings and experiences, creating a foundation of understanding, compassion, and unity. It allows parents and children to step into each other’s shoes, offering a safe space for emotions to be expressed and needs to be met.

For parents, empathy means truly listening to their children without judgment, acknowledging their emotions, and validating their unique perspectives. It involves guiding children to see the impact of their actions on others while modeling kindness, patience, and open communication. Empathy helps parents navigate conflicts with love, offering guidance that nurtures rather than shames.

For children, practicing empathy begins with recognizing and naming their own feelings, which lays the groundwork for understanding the emotions of others. Through empathetic interactions with family members, children learn to respond to others with care and compassion. They see firsthand how empathy strengthens relationships and builds trust.

Empathy in family life creates a nurturing environment where every member feels seen, heard, and valued. It transforms misunderstandings into opportunities for growth and deepens the bonds that make a family resilient, loving, and connected. By cultivating empathy, families become a haven of mutual support and understanding, a model of humanity at its best.

Balancing Empathy

Empathy, when in balance, serves as a powerful force for connection and understanding within families. It allows us to nurture relationships, respond to each other’s needs with compassion, and foster a deep sense of unity. However, to ensure empathy remains a positive force, it must be supported by other virtues that help balance and moderate its expression, preventing it from becoming overbearing or underdeveloped.

      • Discernment:  Discernment helps us wisely assess when and how to offer empathy, ensuring it is appropriate and aligned with the needs of the situation.

      • Boundaries:  The virtue of boundaries ensures that empathy does not lead to self-sacrifice or emotional burnout, allowing individuals to care for themselves as well as others.

      • Justice:  Justice ensures that empathy is balanced with fairness, helping us make decisions that consider everyone’s needs and not just the most vocal or visible feelings.

      • Self-Discipline:  Self-discipline allows us to temper our emotional responses, preventing us from becoming overly involved in others’ struggles to the detriment of our own well-being.

      • Detachment:  Detachment fosters emotional clarity, enabling us to empathize without becoming overwhelmed by another’s emotions or losing our sense of self.

      • Courage:  Courage supports empathy by empowering us to act on compassionate understanding, even when it requires difficult or uncomfortable choices.

      • Patience:  Patience helps us respond empathetically without rushing to fix or solve problems, giving others the space to process their own emotions.

      • Honesty:  Honesty balances empathy by encouraging truthful, constructive communication that respects both feelings and facts.

      • Gratitude:  Gratitude helps us maintain a positive perspective, ensuring that empathy does not become a source of emotional heaviness or despair.

      • Humility:  Humility reminds us that while empathy connects us, we cannot fully control or fix another person’s journey, fostering realistic expectations in relationships.

Maintaining a balance of virtues ensures that empathy remains a healthy and life-giving force in family life. By practicing complementary virtues such as boundaries, discernment, and humility, parents and children can experience the deep connection empathy offers without being overwhelmed. A well-rounded approach to virtues supports the emotional and relational well-being of everyone in the family, creating an environment where love and understanding can truly thrive.

Joe is a husband, father, grandfather, author, speaker, educator, course creator, and parent/family coach.

He helps parents develop unity, find clarity, communicate, and develop consistency in their parenting with the Four C’s of Successful Families. You can find his work on social media.

In addition, the Four C’s newsletter is enjoyed by many as it encourages parents to self-care, build their relationships with their partners, and raise their children. 

And he loves to golf! 

Joseph Michael
Discernment

Discernment

by | Jun 25, 2021 | Virtues

Description

Discernment is the virtue of making thoughtful, wise decisions by tuning in to our inner wisdom and reflecting with patience and clarity. It involves pausing to look beyond surface appearances and assumptions, allowing us to separate what is real and essential from what is false or misleading. Rather than rushing to conclusions, discernment invites us to reflect deeply, trusting that the right answer will emerge when we give it time and space.

In all walks of life, discernment is a valuable guide. Whether facing personal, professional, or relational choices, discernment encourages us to slow down and listen—to ourselves, to others, and to the circumstances around us. It calls for a balanced approach, integrating both intuition and reason. By practicing discernment, we become more attuned to subtle insights and open ourselves to being guided by deeper truths, helping us act with confidence, compassion, and integrity.

Discernment enables us to live with intention, making decisions that align with our values and long-term well-being. It’s a form of inner vigilance that empowers us to navigate life’s complexities with grace and clarity, allowing us to move forward on the best path for ourselves and those around us.

Affirmations for Discernment

1. I trust in the wisdom that comes with patience and reflection.
This helps by encouraging the practice of waiting and allowing time for clarity to emerge rather than rushing into decisions.

2. I listen deeply to my inner voice and intuition.
This reminds us to tune into our internal guidance, which often reveals subtle truths that might otherwise go unnoticed.

3. I take time to separate facts from assumptions.
This practice encourages critical thinking, helping us discern reality from what we may project or believe without evidence.

4. I am open to guidance from unexpected places and people.
This affirmation invites openness to insight from others, which can enhance our own understanding and perspective.

5. I hold decisions lightly until the right path becomes clear.
It teaches patience and the ability to wait for certainty, allowing for deeper clarity to surface in time.

6. I create moments of silence to connect with my deeper thoughts.
By making space for quiet reflection, this practice helps us access our inner wisdom, which is essential for discernment.

7. I honor my values and use them to guide my choices.
This affirmation reinforces the importance of aligning decisions with core beliefs, ensuring that choices are authentic and aligned with integrity.

8. I seek clarity by asking the right questions, not rushing to answers.
Focusing on the right questions helps deepen understanding and encourages thoughtful consideration before making decisions.

9. I trust that uncertainty is part of the process of discernment.
Acknowledging that uncertainty is normal reduces the pressure to have immediate answers and encourages thoughtful exploration.

10. I allow grace to guide me through moments of indecision.
This affirmation reminds us to surrender control and trust in a higher wisdom, giving us peace during moments of ambiguity or doubt.

Quotes

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” — Maya Angelou

“A wise person is not one who easily passes judgment, but one who discerns both the right and wrong in the context of the situation.” — The Buddha

“Discernment is the process of making choices that align with God’s will, paying attention to the movements of the heart and mind.” — St. Ignatius of Loyola

Discernment In Family Life

Discernment in family life is the practice of making thoughtful, intentional choices that reflect the values and needs of the family. For parents, discernment involves carefully considering what is best for each child, listening to their unique needs, and distinguishing between what is important and what may simply be a distraction. It requires patience and reflection, especially in the face of daily demands, to ensure that decisions align with the family’s core values and long-term well-being.

For children, discernment is about learning to make choices that reflect their growing understanding of right and wrong. Parents can guide children in this by teaching them to pause, reflect, and think about the consequences of their actions. Through open discussions, parents can help children recognize when they are acting out of impulse or when they need to take time to consider their choices more deeply.

In family life, discernment fosters clear communication, mutual understanding, and a sense of trust. Parents model the process of making thoughtful decisions, teaching children to reflect before acting, ask the right questions, and trust their intuition. By practicing discernment together, families create an environment where choices are made with care, wisdom, and respect for one another’s individuality. This leads to more harmonious relationships and strengthens the bond of unity within the family.

Balancing Discernment

When in balance, discernment is a powerful force for good in family life. It enables thoughtful decision-making, fosters clear communication, and strengthens relationships by guiding parents and children to act with wisdom and intention. However, when overdeveloped, discernment can lead to overthinking or indecisiveness, while being underdeveloped can result in impulsivity or poor judgment. Balancing discernment with other virtues ensures it remains a positive influence in the family.

      • Patience:  Patience allows space for thoughtful reflection, preventing rushed or impulsive decisions that could lead to regret.

      • Confidence:  Confidence ensures that discernment does not lead to indecision or self-doubt, empowering parents and children to trust their choices.

      • Compassion:  Compassion tempers the analytical nature of discernment with empathy, ensuring that decisions are made with kindness and consideration for others’ feelings.

      • Humility: Humility reminds us that no one has all the answers, encouraging openness to advice and alternative perspectives.

      • Flexibility:  Flexibility ensures that discernment does not become rigid, allowing for adjustments when new insights or circumstances arise.

      • Clarity:  Clarity helps to focus discernment on what truly matters, avoiding unnecessary overanalysis or distractions.

      • Courage:  Courage empowers action after thoughtful discernment, ensuring that fear of making a mistake does not lead to paralysis.

      • Detachment:  Detachment helps families let go of biases, emotional attachments, or preconceived outcomes, allowing for objective decision-making.

      • Trust:  Trust ensures that once discernment has guided a choice, there is faith in the process and confidence that things will unfold as they should.

      • Joyfulness:  Joyfulness prevents discernment from becoming overly serious, reminding families to embrace the beauty of life and its uncertainties with a light heart.

Maintaining balance in virtues is essential for the well-being of both parents and children. When discernment is supported by complementary virtues, it becomes a tool for harmony and growth, rather than a source of stress or conflict. By cultivating these balancing virtues, families can create a nurturing environment where decisions are made with wisdom, love, and grace, fostering a foundation of trust and unity.

Joe is a husband, father, grandfather, author, speaker, educator, course creator, and parent/family coach.

He helps parents develop unity, find clarity, communicate, and develop consistency in their parenting with the Four C’s of Successful Families. You can find his work on social media.

In addition, the Four C’s newsletter is enjoyed by many as it encourages parents to self-care, build their relationships with their partners, and raise their children. 

And he loves to golf! 

Joseph Michael