by Joe Van Deuren | Dec 5, 2023 | Parenting, Self-care
Parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, moments of pure joy, and moments of frustration and doubt. It’s an endeavor that requires unwavering dedication, patience, and love. However, amid the chaos, two powerful virtues can make all the difference: optimism and resilience. These qualities, valuable on their own, are also profoundly interconnected, working in tandem to help parents navigate the rough patches and emerge more vital than ever.
Optimism, as defined by the International Journal of Education and Psychological Research (IJEPR), is maintaining a positive outlook, even in the face of adversity. It’s the belief that things will ultimately work out for the best. Resilience, on the other hand, is the capacity to bounce back from setbacks, adapt, and thrive in challenging situations. These two qualities go hand in hand, creating a dynamic duo that can significantly impact your parenting journey.
So, why are optimism and resilience so crucial in parenting, and how can they be harnessed to create a more fulfilling experience for parents and children?
Optimism: Illuminating the Path Ahead
Optimism acts as a guiding light in the darkest of times. It’s the unwavering belief that, even amid turmoil, there is a silver lining. For parents, this means holding on to the conviction that they can provide their children love, support, and guidance, no matter how challenging the circumstances.
As parents, we often face moments of self-doubt, questioning whether we are doing enough or good enough. It’s during these times that optimism can be a lifeline. It encourages us to focus on the positive aspects of our parenting journey – the smiles, the small victories, and the unbreakable bond we share with our children. Maintaining an optimistic outlook can inspire us to keep moving forward, even when the path seems uncertain.
Resilience: Rising Stronger
Resilience is the inner strength that allows parents to weather the storms of parenthood and emerge from challenges stronger than before. It’s the ability to adapt to unforeseen circumstances, to learn from mistakes, and to keep going, no matter how tough the going gets.
In parenting, resilience is the armor that shields us from inevitable setbacks and disappointments. It enables us to bounce back from sleepless nights, toddler tantrums, and teenage rebellion. Resilience reminds us that we are not defined by our mistakes but by our ability to learn and grow from them.
The Symbiotic Relationship: Optimism and Resilience
What makes optimism and resilience truly powerful is their symbiotic relationship. Optimism can catalyze resilience, pushing us to persevere when the going gets tough. When we believe better days are ahead, we are more likely to summon the resilience needed to overcome obstacles.
Conversely, resilience can breed optimism. As parents, we’ve all faced those moments when we thought we couldn’t handle another challenge. Yet, we gain a newfound sense of optimism when we emerge from the storm with our heads held high. We recognize that we are more capable and resilient than we ever imagined.
Demonstrating Optimism and Resilience in Rough Patches
During the rough patches of parenting, it’s natural to question your abilities and feel overwhelmed. But remember, you have the power of optimism and resilience within you. Here are some ways to harness these qualities when the going gets tough:
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- Positive Self-Talk: Replace self-doubt with positive affirmations. Remind yourself of your strengths and past successes as a parent.
- Seek Support: Reach out to other parents or professionals for guidance and reassurance. Sharing your challenges can alleviate the burden and provide fresh perspectives.
- Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness to stay present and focused. This can help you avoid dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about the future.
- Learn and Adapt: Embrace setbacks as opportunities for growth. Parenting is a continuous learning journey; each challenge is a chance to become a better parent.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Don’t underestimate the power of small victories. Celebrate your child’s achievements, no matter how minor, and acknowledge your role in their progress.
Remember that when you feel like giving up or questioning your abilities as a parent, you are a reservoir of untapped strength, filled with the optimism and resilience needed to weather any storm. Your journey may be filled with thorns and briars. Still, with these qualities as your allies, you can navigate the path gracefully and emerge stronger on the other side.
Parenting is a challenging yet profoundly rewarding journey. Embrace the power of optimism and resilience, the keys to surviving and thriving as a parent. You are more than good enough – you are extraordinary, capable of providing love, guidance, and unwavering support to your children. Keep believing in yourself, bouncing back, and nurturing the beautiful bond you share with your children. Your journey is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. With optimism and resilience as your companions, no challenge is too great to overcome.
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by Joe Van Deuren | May 19, 2022 | Parenting
Kids need heroes. Someone who is going to inspire them and offer a moral compass. Someone who is going to be a powerful role-model. A character who shows that life is an adventure that comes with troubles and hardships, enemies and danger, but always ends well. As long as the hero doesn’t give up, the victory is possible.
As Albert Einstein said, “You never fail until you stop trying.”
Every good movie, book, or story typically has one myth in the middle – a myth called “The Hero’s Journey” that was introduced by Joseph Campbell in his book “The Hero with A Thousand Faces.”
The author aims to show to us that adventures world-famous heroes are facing aren’t far from what we’re going through in our present life, each day.
Understanding this will support you and your child to be more persistent, patient, and resilient, just like Simba, Hercules, Luke Skywalker, and Batman.
The hero’s journey usually consists of 12 steps which could be divided into 3 major stages:
- The first stage. This stage starts with the hero’s separation from his ordinary life. This separation happens because the hero’s boring life has been challenged by a call or invitation to adventure.
- As stepping out of one’s comfort zone is not easy, the hero hesitates at first and decides to refuse the invitation.
- Soon enough, he regrets that decision and then comes across someone wise and inspiring who becomes his mentor. Once the hero feels supported and guided, he is ready to take the journey.
- The second stage. As the journey unfolds, trials, challenges and difficulties are rising. One is more difficult than the other.
- This part carries the most significance for learning that resilience is a necessary part of any successful adventure and life in general.
- When the hero endures uncomfortable and painful tests and faces the strongest enemies, they often find new ways of solving challenges and adopt many shifts in mindset.
- The third and final stage. Steps in this stage include: reward, the road back home, the final test, and return home.
- After many battles and obstacles, the hero finally returns to their former life. From the outside, everything seems to be the same, yet it all feels very different.
- This is because the hero has changed and transformed through the journey.
Helping your child to understand the hero’s journey within a movie, cartoon, or fairytale is a fantastic way to help them develop a moral compass of integrity, resilience, and compassion.
This kind of storytelling contains some major resilience-forming ideas:
- Helps children understand the importance of individual strengths
- Introduces the benefits of learning from mistakes
- Empowers children to make decisions
- Recognizes the importance of being open to support
- Promotes qualities such as fairness, integrity, persistence, and kindness
- Demonstrates how behaviors affect others
- Stresses the importance of generosity
- Helps kids understand that life’s events aren’t random
- Teaches the importance of discipline in life
Your children will face massive change through their life, just like you did. Through that change they will gain greater insight into their identity and capabilities.
The sooner they find out that life carries trials, tests, and difficulties, the better equipped they will be to face them.
With morally balanced and highly accountable heroes in your child’s immediate surroundings, your child learns to embrace change in life as they embark on their own wonderful journeys and adventures.
Where do hero’s come from?
Hero’s come from those in your community. Individuals in your life, family members, community members, those that you surround yourself all have stories and examples of resilience. But most important of all the question is:
Are you ready to become that hero for your child?
You the parent will always be the most important hero in your child’s life. Are you ready to become that hero for your child?
Start by identifying your current reality, recognizing the changes you need to make, and then make them so that you become a better version of yourself and a greater role-model of resilience for your child.
Get the checklist – “Help your Child to Become More Resilient”. As a bonus you will also get “Six Ways Failure Can be Your Friend”.
Resilience is one of the most important virtues you can help your child develop, and I promise you that as you draw this virtue from them, you will get stronger too.
by Joe Van Deuren | Jul 3, 2021 | Virtues
Description
Resilience is the strength of spirit to recover from adversity. When we experience disappointment, loss, or tragedy, we find hope and courage to carry on. Humor lightens the load when it seems to heavy. We overcome obstacles by tapping into a deep well of faith and endurance. At times of loss, we come together for comfort. We grieve and then move on. We create new memories. We discern the learning that can come from hardship. We don’t cower in the face of challenge. We engage fully in the dance of life.
In Family Life
Resilience within a family manifests itself as a collective strength to withstand adversity and navigate challenges with unwavering support and unity. Resilience is reflected in the ability to adapt to changing circumstances, learn from setbacks, and grow together. It is demonstrated through open and honest communication, where family members share their burdens and emotions, providing a safe space for one another to express vulnerability.
Resilience in the family is the determination to weather storms as a cohesive unit, find solutions, and foster hope even in adversity. In resilient families, love and solidarity are the bedrock upon which they build their unwavering ability to overcome life’s trials, emerging stronger and more connected than ever.
Quote
“That which does not destroy, strengthens.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche
The Practice of Resilience
- When trouble comes, I stay strong.
- I have the flexibility to bounce back.
- I have the faith to overcome.
- I find comfort in community.
- I trust hardship to cultivate my character.
- I fully engage in living.
