clarity | Joseph Michael

Why Unwinding Is Essential for Both You and Your Children

by Joe Van Deuren | Apr 17, 2023 | Parenting, Self-care

Overcome Common Barriers and Relax

We all know that unwinding is good for us. After all, think how wonderful it feels to relax after a long, difficult day! There’s no better way to shed stress or ease worry. Unfortunately, though, sometimes unwinding is easier said than done.

If you’re having difficulty unwinding, it’s time for intentionality in your subsequent actions. First, look at some barriers to letting go and what you can do about them.

Current Events Have You Down

The problem with being plugged in every second of the day is we become very aware of what’s happening in the world. It can lead to many worries and stress about things happening worldwide, and it seems impossible to relax at the end of the day. The fix? Limit your media exposure. For example, make a point not to watch the news before bed or allow yourself only a certain amount of time to follow the news every day.

You Feel Like There’s Too Much to Do

The problem with being busy is that it’s always possible to get busier. While this can be great news for your business, it can wreak havoc on your ability to end the day and unwind. The fix? Create a schedule where you quit all extra activities for the day at a specific time. Then, if anything is unfinished, jot it down on tomorrow’s to-do list and let it go so you can unwind properly.

You Don’t Have Time to Unwind

This can be difficult, especially if you’re used to scheduling your day to be busy. The problem? You’re leading yourself straight to burnout. The fix? It’s pretty simple. Start planning time to unwind every day. Be strict with yourself about using it.

You Don’t Think You Deserve Time Off

Unfortunately, we were taught to be productive every minute of the day since we were children. It leads to many complicated feelings about taking time off, even to unwind at the end of the day. The fix? A reality check can do wonders here. Unwinding is a crucial part of being productive. Without rest, you can’t possibly do more later. Want to go even better? Spend time rewiring your brain to accept one straightforward truth: YOU DESERVE TIME TO YOURSELF. We all do—end of story.

All of these can be barriers for our children, too. For example, if your child’s usual way of being is interrupted, and you see changes in sleep, eating, or resting patterns, it could be that the local or world news worries them. They may need to talk and tell you how they are feeling. You may need to reassure them that you are there to keep them safe.

In today’s world, children’s schedules are packed so tight with things that we have been told are necessary to succeed. Children need time to unwind and be children. However, scheduling them with back-to-back activities or activities every evening after school is too much for many, if not all, children.

They deserve time off. They need time to unwind; they need time with you and your family; and, most importantly, they need you and family time. Even more importantly, they need you to set an example for them of what it means to be balanced in life.

Clarity about what is important to you and your family will help you choose how to spend your time. Don’t be influenced by what others tell you your child “should” do. Instead, relax, be your best self, and practice what you know is best for you and your family.

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays. I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

5 Tips to Get to Know Yourself Better

by Joe Van Deuren | Dec 26, 2021 | Self-care

Practicing Self-Discipline Brings Great Results

Discipline is a term people toss around a lot. But what is it exactly? Is it the ability to control your impulses? The ability to focus on complex tasks even when you don't feel like it? Or maybe the ability to adhere to rules and guidelines even if you don't like them?

Here are five of the best tips to get to know yourself better. These tips will help jump-start your journey into self-reflection. By finding the answers you’ve been looking for, you can start to strive toward your true potential.

Let’s get started.

Tip #1: Be Still

For many people, it’s hard to sit alone in a quiet room and contemplate. They become uncomfortable and agitated.

Still, this is an important step to get to know the inner you, the part of you that is your true self. Be brave in the face of your imperfections and the self-talk. As soon as you begin to embrace the good as the real you; you can start discovering your true self.

It all starts when you take the time to sit still and listen to yourself. Think of it as a form of mindfulness meditation where you focus completely on the present moment.

Tip #2: Ask the Right Questions

Too many times, we knock ourselves down through negative self-talk. Instead, talk to yourself as you would a friend. Be kind and show empathy. The best way to do that is by asking self-discovery questions so you can get to know yourself better.

Write down the answers on post-its and hang them up next to your bed or bathroom mirror. You can also jot the answers down in a journal. In fact, experts say are journals are one of the most effective tools of self-awareness.

Here are some important questions you can ask yourself today:

What are my core values?
Who’s my biggest role model? Why?
What makes me feel safe? Or Who?
What are my short-term and long-term goals?

At the end of this article, you can download a full list of self-discovery questions.

Tip #3: Find Your Strengths

Each one of us is here for a reason. Each of us, adults and children have their own unique gifts, talents, skills, and temperament. Some things just come more naturally to each of us better than others. That’s the natural order of things.

Knowing what you’re good at is necessary on the journey of finding who you really are. Focusing on your strengths boosts self-confidence and increases your drive to achieve more. Only then, will you be able to make room for better, more productive things in your life.

Let’s not forget that it’s just as important to figure out what you’re not good at. Allow yourself to try different things. Then, by trial and error, you’ll know exactly what you’re good at and what you should steer clear of.

Interestingly enough, your strengths will almost always align with your core values. Together, they can help you manage your life path, both at home and at work.

Tip #4: Discover Your Passion

Now that you know what you’re good at, it’s time to hone in on the things that excite you and give your life meaning. This can be one thing or twenty—the point is to follow through.

Having that drive gives you purpose and strength. You savor each moment and push yourself to achieve new goals.

This positive energy you exude when you’re doing something you’re passionate about is vital. It allows you to want to be better and do more. That can only come when you truly enjoy what you’re doing.

Tip #5: Determine Your Call to Action

Your core values, purpose, and passion is unique to you. Now what is your call to action for those core values?

What are the behaviors you want to practice, that line up with your values? When you call yourself to action by behaving as your best self, your confidence rises, you feel good about yourself, you feel in alignment with your inner being.

When you feel frustrated, depressed, or angry it simply means you are not aligned with what you value.

This is one form of self-care that will work wonders for your self-esteem. Get to know yourself better and live your best self. Watch those around you, especially your family respect you.

In Conclusion

We hope you found these five tips to get to know yourself better helpful. Figuring out who you are as an individual has many advantages for yourself and your family.

The most significant is that it puts things in perspective. It allows you to feel comfortable in the choices and decisions you make for yourself and your family. Knowing who you are keeps you from being swayed or overly influenced by the choices of others.

As a result, you’re able to focus more on your personal strengths and be more accepting of your weaknesses. Socrates also said, “Be as you wish to seem.” In other words, when you know what you want out of life, you know what you don’t want and the only thing that can hold you back is your imagination. So, be bold and dream big!

Getting to know yourself better is part of the first ‘C’ in the Four C’s of Successful Families. CLARITY is about the unifying set of values, virtues, mission, and purpose for your unique family (Team). The other C’s are COMMUNICATION, CONSISTENCY, & COMMUNITY.

Want help getting to know yourself better? Download your full list of self-discovery questions. If you want, share them with other members of your family, especially your partner.