Joe Van Deuren | Joseph Michael

Openness

by Joe Van Deuren | Jul 3, 2021 | Virtues

Description

Openness is a virtue that invites us to live authentically and engage with the world wholeheartedly. It is the practice of being honest and sincere, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and true selves without pretension or fear. Openness fosters genuine connections by prioritizing understanding over control. It asks us to reveal our perspectives candidly while respecting the individuality of others

To be open is to approach life with a receptive heart and an open mind. It means welcoming new ideas and experiences, even when they challenge us, and listening to others with compassionate curiosity. Through openness, we hold space for diverse viewpoints and create an environment where trust and mutual respect can flourish.

This virtue also encourages us to embrace the unexpected, recognizing that life’s surprises can bring growth and joy. By letting go of hidden agendas and preconceived judgments, we become attuned to the beauty of the present moment and the wisdom it offers.

Openness enriches all aspects of life, from personal relationships to professional endeavors. It teaches us that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength that builds bridges of understanding and kindness. In practicing openness, we unlock the potential for deeper connections and greater harmony with ourselves and the world around us.

Affirmations for Openness

1. I embrace new ideas and perspectives with curiosity and an open heart.
This helps by fostering a mindset of exploration, reducing resistance to unfamiliar concepts.

2. I am honest about my thoughts and feelings, trusting that authenticity builds connection.
By encouraging sincerity, this affirmation promotes deeper relationships rooted in trust.

3. I listen to others without judgment, seeking to understand before being understood.
This practice cultivates empathetic listening, creating space for meaningful dialogue.

4. I release my need for control and welcome the flow of life.
Letting go of control helps reduce anxiety and creates room for unexpected blessings.

5. I allow myself to be vulnerable, knowing it is a strength, not a weakness.
This affirmation builds emotional resilience and strengthens connections with others.

6. I welcome feedback as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Openness to feedback fosters self-improvement and a willingness to adapt.

7. I approach challenges with a flexible mindset, seeing them as opportunities for growth.
This helps shift focus from obstacles to possibilities, encouraging proactive problem-solving.

8. I honor the individuality of others and respect their unique journeys.
Recognizing and respecting differences deepens understanding and fosters harmony.

9. I trust that openness leads to greater connection and understanding.
This builds confidence in being open, reinforcing its value in relationships.

10. I am grateful for life’s surprises and the lessons they bring.
Practicing gratitude for the unexpected encourages a welcoming attitude toward change and discovery.

Quotes

“An open heart is an open mind.” — Dalai Lama

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” — Ephesians 4:2 (The Bible)

“The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it is open.” — Frank Zappa

Openness In Family Life

Openness in family life is the practice of creating an atmosphere of trust, honesty, and understanding where every member feels safe to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It is expressed when parents and children communicate authentically, listen with empathy, and approach one another with curiosity and respect.

For parents, openness means being transparent about values and expectations while remaining approachable and willing to learn from their children. It involves admitting mistakes, welcoming feedback, and embracing their child’s individuality without judgment. Parents model openness by creating space for meaningful dialogue and fostering a culture where vulnerability is seen as a strength.

For children, openness involves expressing their feelings honestly and respectfully, asking questions, and being receptive to new ideas. It encourages them to approach challenges with a flexible mindset, be curious about the world, and trust their parents as guides and confidants.

In a family that practices openness, differences are respected, and connections are deepened. Openness nurtures an environment of emotional safety where members can grow together, celebrate each other’s uniqueness, and adapt to life’s surprises with resilience and grace. It is a cornerstone of building strong, harmonious family relationships rooted in mutual trust and love.

Balancing Virtues

Openness, when practiced in balance, is a transformative force in family life. It fosters trust, understanding, and a willingness to connect deeply with one another. When family members feel free to express themselves honestly and listen with empathy, they create an environment of mutual respect and emotional safety. However, openness must be moderated to ensure it remains a positive influence, avoiding extremes such as oversharing or insensitivity. Balancing virtues can help maintain harmony and strengthen relationships.

Balancing Openness

- - Discernment: Discernment helps families decide when and how to share thoughts and feelings, ensuring openness is appropriate and constructive.
  - Respect: Respect ensures that openness honors the boundaries and comfort levels of all family members.
  - Tact: Tact moderates openness by encouraging thoughtful communication that considers the impact of words on others.
  - Prudence: Prudence guides families in sharing honestly without divulging sensitive or unnecessary information.
  - Compassion: Compassion fosters empathy, ensuring openness is used to connect rather than to criticize or dominate.
  - Self-Control: Self-control helps balance openness by encouraging thoughtful reflection before speaking or acting.
  - Humility: Humility keeps openness from becoming self-centered, encouraging listening and valuing others’ perspectives.
  - Patience: Patience allows openness to unfold gradually, respecting each person’s readiness to share and engage.
  - Courage: Courage balances openness by empowering family members to express themselves honestly, even when it feels vulnerable.
  - Gratitude: Gratitude ensures openness remains grounded in appreciation for the trust and connection it builds within the family.

Maintaining balance in virtues is essential for cultivating openness as a positive force in family life. When paired with complementary virtues, openness deepens understanding and strengthens bonds while respecting individual boundaries and needs. For both parents and children, this balance fosters a harmonious environment where authenticity and connection thrive.

Joe is a husband, father, grandfather, author, speaker, educator, course creator, and parent/family coach.

He helps parents develop unity, find clarity, communicate, and develop consistency in their parenting with the Four C’s of Successful Families. You can find his work on social media.

In addition, the Four C’s newsletter is enjoyed by many as it encourages parents to self-care, build their relationships with their partners, and raise their children.

And he loves to golf!

Nobility

by Joe Van Deuren | Jul 3, 2021 | Virtues

Description

Nobility is the virtue that calls us to honor our true worth as spiritual beings, embracing the inherent dignity within ourselves and others. It is a commitment to live up to the virtues that guide us and the trust placed in us by a higher purpose. Through nobility, we carry ourselves with grace and treat others with respect, regardless of the circumstances.

This virtue inspires us to take the moral high road, even when the journey is challenging. It asks us to remain steadfast and principled, choosing actions that reflect integrity and decency over fleeting convenience or superficial gain. Nobility means resisting the pull of temptations or shortcuts that detract from our purpose, instead choosing a path that uplifts and reflects our deeper values.

In practicing nobility, we cultivate a life of meaning and excellence, guided not by the easy or popular choice but by what is truly right and good. It is not about seeking perfection but about striving to live authentically, grounded in our principles and unwavering in our sense of self-worth. Nobility reminds us that we are capable of leading lives of purpose and honor, enriching the world with our actions and presence.

Affirmations for Nobility

1. I choose dignity and grace in all my actions.
This helps by encouraging you to approach every situation with a calm and respectful demeanor, reflecting your highest self.

2. I stay true to my values, even when it is difficult.
This reinforces the importance of integrity and strengthens your resolve to make moral choices.

3. I treat myself and others with respect and honor.
This fosters mutual dignity and reminds you of the inherent worth of all people, including yourself.

4. I rise above negativity and pettiness.
This practice helps you maintain focus on what truly matters, avoiding distractions that undermine your peace and purpose.

5. I act with kindness, even when it is not reciprocated.
This affirms that nobility is about giving without expecting, cultivating inner strength and compassion.

6. I choose the path of principle over the path of convenience.
This practice helps you align your actions with your core beliefs, ensuring a life of integrity.

7. I find strength in my sense of purpose and worth.
This builds resilience against external pressures, anchoring you in your true value.

8. I speak with thoughtfulness and listen with an open heart.
This encourages gracious communication, deepening connections and understanding with others.

9. I embrace challenges as opportunities to show my true character.
This mindset helps transform difficulties into moments of growth and moral clarity.

10. I honor the Divine trust placed within me by striving to live virtuously.
This inspires a sense of sacred responsibility, motivating you to act with nobility in every aspect of life.

Quotes

“To be noble means to be true to the highest version of yourself, not because others are watching, but because your soul is.” – Anonymous
This reflects the internal drive to uphold one’s dignity and values, independent of external validation.

“Nobility is not a birthright. It is defined by the choices we make in life, especially those that challenge us to rise above selfishness and pettiness.” – Mahatma Gandhi
This highlights nobility as an active pursuit through ethical decisions and selflessness.

“True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.” – Ernest Hemingway
This emphasizes personal growth and self-improvement as central to noble living.

Nobility In Family Life

Nobility in family life is the practice of living with dignity, grace, and a steadfast commitment to doing what is right. It is about recognizing the inherent value in ourselves and each family member, treating one another with respect and holding to the principles that bring out the best in everyone.

For parents, nobility means modeling integrity, kindness, and fairness in their actions and words. It involves guiding children with wisdom and compassion, choosing the moral high ground even in challenging situations, and fostering a home environment where virtues are nurtured and celebrated.

For children, nobility is seen in acts of kindness, honesty, and responsibility. It means learning to treat siblings, parents, and others with respect and gratitude while embracing challenges as opportunities to grow in character.

In a noble family, members are committed to supporting each other, celebrating individuality, and holding each other accountable to the values that define the family’s vision. Nobility transforms everyday interactions into opportunities to deepen bonds, build trust, and inspire each other to live principled lives.

Practicing nobility as a family strengthens the foundation of love and unity, creating a home where every member can thrive and grow into their highest potential.

Balancing Nobility

Nobility, when in balance, is a profound force for good in family life, inspiring dignity, grace, and moral courage. However, to ensure it does not lead to excessive pride or self-righteousness, or become undervalued as passivity or indecisiveness, it must be harmonized with other virtues that bring equilibrium and depth to its practice.

- - Humility – Helps temper nobility by reminding us to recognize our shared humanity and learn from others.
  - Compassion – Ensures that our sense of dignity is always paired with kindness and an understanding of others’ struggles.
  - Patience – Balances the desire for immediate right action with the wisdom to wait for the right moment to act.
  - Honesty – Keeps nobility grounded by encouraging us to be truthful about our limitations while striving for integrity.
  - Flexibility – Ensures that principled actions are adapted to the needs of each situation without rigidity.
  - Gratitude – Keeps nobility from becoming entitlement by fostering appreciation for life’s blessings.
  - Fairness – Balances noble intentions with an even-handed approach to treating everyone equitably.
  - Forgiveness – Keeps nobility from becoming judgmental by reminding us of the value of mercy and second chances.
  - Self-Discipline – Ensures that noble ideals are translated into consistent and intentional actions.
  - Joyfulness – Adds lightness and warmth to the seriousness of noble aspirations, making them approachable and sustainable.

Maintaining balance in virtues ensures that nobility remains a guiding force for good, neither overshadowed by other qualities nor overwhelming them. A well-balanced approach helps parents model nobility as an inspiring yet approachable virtue and encourages children to grow into individuals who live with dignity, kindness, and integrity. By cultivating harmony in virtues, families create a nurturing environment where every member can flourish.

Joe is a husband, father, grandfather, author, speaker, educator, course creator, and parent/family coach.

He helps parents develop unity, find clarity, communicate, and develop consistency in their parenting with the Four C’s of Successful Families. You can find his work on social media.

In addition, the Four C’s newsletter is enjoyed by many as it encourages parents to self-care, build their relationships with their partners, and raise their children.

And he loves to golf!

Modesty

by Joe Van Deuren | Jul 3, 2021 | Virtues

Description

Modesty is a sense of quiet confidence and self-respect, which allows us to enjoy our accomplishments without inflating our self-importance. We have no need to brag or attract attention. We know we are worthy just as we are. We have a sense of respectful privacy about our bodies. We have reasonable expectations of ourselves. We resist the drive to overdo. Modesty allows us to accept praise with gratitude. We have no need to raise ourselves above others. We share the glory. We are grateful for the gifts we have, and we honor the gifts that others have too.

Quote

“You have a good many little gifts and virtues, but there is no need of parading them, for conceit spoils the finest genius. There is not much danger that real talent or goodness will be overlooked long, and the great charm of all power is modesty.”

— Louisa May Alcott

The Practice of Modesty

I am comfortable being who I am.
I have no need to exaggerate my importance.
I treat my body with respect.
I refuse to overdo.
I share credit for success.
I am simply grateful for my accomplishments.

Definitions and practices of virtue are used with permission from the Virtues Project™.

In Family Life

The virtue of modesty is demonstrated through a humble and respectful approach to personal and familial matters. It involves refraining from excessive self-promotion or boasting and instead fostering an environment where each family member values the contributions and feelings of others equally. Modesty within a family manifests in active listening, empathetic communication, and a willingness to share responsibilities without seeking undue recognition.

It also includes maintaining a sense of privacy and discretion, respecting each member’s boundaries, and avoiding excessive materialism or extravagance, ensuring that the family’s focus remains on shared values, mutual support, and the well-being of its members. Ultimately, modesty in a family nurtures humility, strengthens bonds, and promotes a sense of unity and harmony among its members.

Balancing Modesty

These balancing virtues of modesty allow us to appreciate our worth while acknowledging the worth of those we encounter.

- - Humility: Humility complements Modesty by helping us acknowledge our achievements without diminishing our self-worth. It encourages a balanced perspective, allowing us to accept praise with gratitude while maintaining a sense of humility in our interactions.
  - Respect: Respect for ourselves and others reinforces Modesty’s core principle of self-respect and acknowledging the worth of those around us. It ensures that we honor the privacy and boundaries of others while upholding our own.
  - Gratitude: Gratitude aligns with Modesty by fostering an appreciation for our gifts and accomplishments without becoming boastful. It reminds us to be thankful for what we have and to recognize the contributions of others in our journey.
  - Empathy: Empathy helps us understand and appreciate the experiences and feelings of others, preventing us from overshadowing them with our achievements. It encourages us to share the glory and celebrate the successes of those around us.

In pursuing a virtuous life, Modesty is a beacon of balance between self-assuredness and humility.

Moderation

by Joe Van Deuren | Jul 3, 2021 | Virtues

Description

Moderation is the art of finding balance, embracing “enough” without reaching for excess. It is about tuning into our own unique rhythm, allowing a balance between work, rest, reflection, and enjoyment. With moderation, we develop the self-discipline to set boundaries that respect our energy and time. This virtue guards against the lure of excessive desires, whether in ambition, material pursuits, or emotional attachments, helping us find contentment without feeling deprived.

Choosing moderation means knowing ourselves well enough to prioritize what truly matters—saying “yes” to what enriches us and “no” to what drains us. It allows us to live with purpose, free from the constant drive to have more or be more than we need to be. Moderation is about loving and honoring ourselves, realizing that a fulfilling life is not about quantity but quality. Embracing moderation fosters a life of steady joy, where we savor each moment without becoming weighed down by the pressures of “more.” This virtue leads to a sustainable, peaceful approach to life that enriches all areas, fostering resilience and genuine satisfaction.

Affirmations for Moderation

1. I honor my limits and find balance in all areas of my life.
This reminds you to respect your boundaries, avoiding burnout and excess.

2. I choose what nourishes my body, mind, and spirit.
Focusing on nourishment over indulgence helps you make healthier, more fulfilling choices.

3. I embrace simplicity and let go of what I don’t need.
This affirmation encourages a life of ease, free from clutter and excess.

4. I am content with what I have; I release the need for more.
Practicing contentment reduces the impulse for constant acquisition, bringing peace.

5. I balance work with rest, creating harmony in my life.
By recognizing the need for both productivity and rest, this helps prevent overwork and exhaustion.

6. I choose quality over quantity in all areas of my life.
Valuing depth over abundance fosters a meaningful approach to relationships, possessions, and experiences.

7. I trust that I have enough and that I am enough.
This affirmation builds self-assurance and prevents the drive for excess in trying to prove worth.

8. I find joy in simplicity and savor life’s small moments.
Appreciating simplicity helps shift focus from acquiring more to truly enjoying what is present.

9. I listen to my body and respect its need for balance.
Tuning into physical needs for rest, movement, and nourishment supports sustainable health and well-being.

10. I set boundaries to protect my time and energy.
Boundaries allow you to say “no” when needed, fostering moderation in commitments and relationships.

Quotes

“Moderation in all things.” — Aristotle

“The acquisition of riches has been for many men, not an end, but a change, of troubles.” — Seneca

“There is more to life than increasing its speed..” — Mahatma Gandhi

Moderation In Family Life

Moderation in family life is about creating a balanced, joyful environment where each family member’s needs are respected without overdoing or underdoing. It’s finding that “just right” approach, so there’s time for connection, fun, work, rest, and individual pursuits. For parents, practicing moderation means setting boundaries around time and energy, ensuring they have enough for family but also for self-care and personal growth. It’s about choosing a pace that nurtures well-being, avoiding the stress of overscheduling, and making intentional decisions about what really matters.

For children, moderation teaches the beauty of balance: that they don’t need every toy or activity to feel happy and that true fulfillment comes from appreciating what they have and enjoying life’s small moments. In a family practicing moderation, everyone learns the value of choosing quality time over quantity, savoring experiences, and recognizing when to say “yes” and “no” in a way that aligns with family values.

Moderation in family life builds a foundation of peace, contentment, and mutual respect. It encourages everyone to be thoughtful in their actions, enjoy life fully without excess, and appreciate the simple joys of being together.

Balancing Moderation

When practiced with balance, moderation brings harmony to family life, helping everyone appreciate “just enough” without feeling deprived or overindulged. Moderation can be a positive force, helping family members enjoy life’s simple joys and focus on quality experiences. However, moderation can be over- or underdeveloped if not balanced with other virtues, leading to excess caution or neglect. Here are key virtues that help keep moderation in check, ensuring it is a healthy part of family life:

- - Courage – Encourages healthy risk-taking, reminding us that sometimes stepping outside of comfort is necessary for growth and adventure.
  - Joyfulness – Infuses family life with enthusiasm, ensuring moderation does not become restrictive but allows room for spontaneity and celebration.
  - Generosity – Promotes a giving spirit, reminding us that moderation in resources doesn’t mean withholding from others but sharing wisely.
  - Discipline – Provides the structure to stay committed to boundaries set by moderation, avoiding overindulgence in routines or habits.
  - Gratitude – Fosters appreciation for what we have, reinforcing contentment while helping us recognize when we have “enough.”
  - Flexibility – Reminds us to adapt and make exceptions when appropriate, ensuring that moderation does not become rigid or overly cautious.
  - Patience – Allows us to wait for things to come in their own time, balancing any urgency to overindulge or rush into decisions.
  - Kindness – Encourages us to support and care for each other, helping moderation in family life remain warm, empathetic, and people-centered.
  - Creativity – Inspires us to find diverse ways to enjoy family life within boundaries, making moderation a source of resourcefulness rather than limitation.
  - Justice – Ensures fairness in family decisions, allowing moderation to support equitable sharing and respect for each member’s needs.

Balancing virtues like courage, joyfulness, and generosity with moderation helps create a fulfilling, adaptable family life. Each of these virtues adds depth and richness, ensuring that moderation is neither too controlling nor too lax. This balance is essential for fostering a nurturing environment where both parents and children feel supported, energized, and free to grow into their fullest selves.

Joe is a husband, father, grandfather, author, speaker, educator, course creator, and parent/family coach.

He helps parents develop unity, find clarity, communicate, and develop consistency in their parenting with the Four C’s of Successful Families. You can find his work on social media.

In addition, the Four C’s newsletter is enjoyed by many as it encourages parents to self-care, build their relationships with their partners, and raise their children.

And he loves to golf!

Mindfulness

by Joe Van Deuren | Jul 3, 2021 | Virtues

Description

Mindfulness is living reflectively, with conscious awareness of our actions, words, and thoughts. Awake to the world around us, we fully experience our senses. We are attentive to others’ needs. We refuse to rush. Living mindfully lightens our lives by helping us to detach from our emotions. We transform anger to justice. We seek joy instead of mere desire. We cultivate our inner vision, aware of life’s lessons as they unfold. Mindfulness brings us serenity.

Quote

“Can you cleanse your inner vision until you see nothing but the light?…Can you step back from your own mind and thus understand all things?”

— Tao Te Ching

The Practice of Mindfulness

I seek always to be awake and aware.
I am considerate of the needs of others.
I keep a pace of grace.
I do not allow emotions and impulse to rule me.
I cultivate my spiritual awareness with daily reflection.
I am a lifelong learner.

Definitions and practices of virtue are used with permission from the Virtues Project™.

In Family Life

The virtue of mindfulness within a family is a beautiful tapestry woven with conscious awareness, where each member lives reflectively, fully embracing the essence of their interconnected existence. It is the art of being present in the moment, attentively listening to one another’s needs, and savoring the richness of shared experiences through heightened senses.

In the family, rushing is replaced by deliberate, thoughtful actions, and emotions are transformed into a source of insight and justice rather than impulsive reactions. Mindfulness becomes the compass guiding them towards joy, steering away from mere desire. It’s a continuous journey of inner growth, where they learn life’s invaluable lessons as a collective, fostering serenity, unity, and a deep appreciation for the precious moments they share.

Balancing Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a virtue that, when practiced in moderation, brings serenity, self-awareness, and empathy into our lives. When taken to extremes in either direction, it can lead to excessive self-criticism or impulsiveness. To balance the virtue of mindfulness in our lives, consider these virtues.

Compassion: Balancing mindfulness with compassion helps individuals remain kind and understanding towards themselves and others. It encourages a gentler approach to self-reflection and self-improvement.
Flexibility: Flexibility allows individuals to adapt mindfully to different situations, acknowledging that perfection in mindfulness is not always attainable or necessary.
Patience: Patience helps individuals slow down and think before acting, promoting more thoughtful and mindful decision-making.
Empathy: Cultivating empathy enables individuals to connect with others more deeply, understanding their needs and emotions.

We can lead more harmonious and fulfilling lives by balancing mindfulness with virtues like compassion, flexibility, patience, and empathy. Self-awareness is the first step toward developing mindfulness. It allows individuals to better understand their thoughts, feelings, and actions.