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Virtues Pick: Humanity
Personal Development: Ten Character Traits Worth Developing
Personal Development
Many adults in their professional lives are required to take Professional Development (PD) courses. They do so willingly or sometimes reluctantly with the hope of improving their status or ability to make progress in their career.
Many more adults delve into personal development courses, books, seminars, webinars, and coaches. They do so with a thirst to create the best version of themselves in their relationships with a partner, as a parent or bottom line – they are looking for greater joy, happiness, and success in life.
There is little we can do as a parent that has more impact on our family than developing our own character, balancing the virtues that fill us. What we role model for our children, informs them of what is important to us as their leader.
Why Build A Good Character
“You are your most important critic and your conscience your most important judge of character.”
Denis Waitley
Take a moment first to remind yourself that you have all of the virtues already. Building character is about developing / balancing those virtues and living up to your full potential. Virtues are a part of your inner-being. They might be shown in positive or negative ways or they may be over or underdeveloped, but they are there in full potential.
Personal development begins as we clarify how we want to be in this world and then act on those ideals and values consistently. Living a balanced life impacts how you feel about yourself and those in your sphere of influence, especially your children.
How Good Character Traits Help
- Gain trust and respect from others.
- Inspire and motivate others to build good character.
- Improves confidence and self-respect.
- Provide a core for making major choices and decisions.
- Display leadership attributes in both professional and personal endeavors.
- Also, good character traits are the backbone of a wholesome functioning society.
While the development of your virtues is not without stress, successfully developing these traits can be amongst the most pleasant and satisfying endeavors.
People often fall into the trap of thinking their character is fixed and cannot be changed. They assume they are either good or bad. However, research has shown that character is malleable. Virtues can be developed and balanced over time with practice and devotion.
Here is a list of 10 character traits/virtues worth developing. Each of them will impact every role you play in life – especially parenting. Working on all ten at once might be quite impossible, so a good idea is to pick one of these qualities and get started.
Humility
This is the quality of being humble. The feeling or attitude that you are not more special, or more important than others. No man is an island and being a humble person entails accepting the contribution of other individuals in helping you accomplish all you have achieved. Acknowledging the role of your mentors, role models, and everyone else who’s helped you reach your goal. Humility helps us to learn from our mistakes and ask for help when needed.
Contentment
This is the mental and emotional state of content and satisfaction drawn from being at ease with one’s situation. According to research, this is the state of acceptance of one’s situation and is a less tentative feeling of happiness.
However, a thin line separates lack of ambition and contentment. Contentment does not mean that you lack dreams, mission or purpose. Contentment is a place to stand and view the future with appreciation for what is and all that is to come in the future. We can be content and trust that the Universe will answer the desires we have for the future.
Reliability
Successfully fulfilling whatever has been entrusted to you is an amazing character trait. Being considered as someone reliable and dependable even when it requires some sacrifice to deliver is a positive character trait worth developing. Reliable individuals choose their commitments with care and take responsibility for the promises they have made.
Determination
This is the positive emotional feeling that entails persisting in pursuing a challenging goal despite the presence of obstacles. Determination serves as motivation to achieve a goal, and it usually precedes the achievement of said goals. Everyone loves a determined person who works steadily to achieve their goals; because it demonstrates that you care about something so much that even when it is hard, you still keep going.
Patience
This character trait is amongst the most neglected trait in today’s fast-paced world. This involves waiting for the right things to happen at the right time. It is the capacity to delay satisfaction and having self control. You cannot control the way someone else is acting or when your goals aren’t met on the time schedule you had hoped for. Patience is amongst the top character traits worth developing.
Honesty
Truthfulness and honesty to others and yourself is a good indicator of a responsible individual. Apart from being respected by others, an honest individual has better odds of being genuinely happy and living long as compared to not being true to yourself. Amongst the leading reasons for being dishonest is the fear of consequences. This can be overcome by having the courage to face the consequences of our actions, however dreadful they might be.
Courage
This is the willingness and ability to confront uncertainty, danger, intimidation, pain, or agony despite fear and doing what needs to be done even if it is hard or scary. This is a good character trait worth developing as it helps us to face the truth and mistakes we make with a readiness to try again. Once you are courageous, you’ll face the unknown and explore the world around you rather than being held back by fear.
Compassion
According to research, this is a desirable and admirable character trait, especially when placed side by side with the alternative of being judgmental, critical, or indifferent to the plight of others. Having compassion for ourselves is as important as showing we care for others. Compassion is especially important in a world that can be hard and lonely,
Flexibility
This virtue is about being capable of adjusting to new situations and conditions. While there are times where standing your ground and being rigid has its benefits, it more often than not gets in the way of progress. This trait entails being resilient enough to adjust and adapt to new information and situations rather than being rigid.
Self-Discipline
While the above character traits are important and worth developing, self-discipline helps ensure you do not allow emotions to control decisions or responses to challenges. Self-discipline helps us to create structure in our life, using routines and rituals so you have time to fill personal needs and those of our family. You have the ability to think, learn, absorb, and know when to act on strong impulses.
There you have 10 virtues that are worth developing personally and in your children, so your family lives united, happy, and successful lives. Living life to its full potential is the reason we developed the framework for the Four C’s of Successful Families. I desire to see every family safe, healthy, successful and happy. Therefore, each stage of the Four C’s, Clarity, Communication, Consistency, and Community brings out the best in ourselves, in our families, and our life.
Where to begin
The Four C’s of Successful Families begins with Clarity. Clarity begins with each of us as individuals and then is united with those we love. We cannot lead a family or any group without first being clear about who we are, what we stand for, and what we want to accomplish in the roles that we play.
To gain clarity begin by identifying the roles that you play in life, both personal and professional. To get you started here is a brief list that you can choose from and add to as you think of the roles you are filling:
- father/mother
- husband/wife/partner/Significant other
- sibling
- friend
- employee
- boss
- volunteer
- Member of a civic org.
- Member of a faith organization
- son/daughter
- aunt, uncle, cousin etc.
- NAME YOUR OTHER ROLES
As you look at these roles choose four of the most important to you at this moment.
Then consider the following questions.
Write a description of your best self in each of those roles.
- Describe how do you want to be in each of those roles?
- How do the virtues listed above look in the roles you have listed?
- What behaviors or practices would demonstrate those virtues in the roles you chose to examine?
- Are there other character traits or virtues that are more important to you in those roles so that you can be the best version of yourself? (See a list of 100 virtues here)
Personal development gives parents more authority to guide and correct children, while helping yourself and them develop the virtues inside of them.
As you fill in the grid by answering these questions you will begin to notice that some of the same characteristics or virtues keep showing up in all of your roles. Those virtues are certainly ones that are important to you to practice on a regular basis as they demonstrate what you value in life.
The virtues that keep coming up on your grid no doubt, are important to you to develop in your children. Consider for a few minutes how you can help your child or children to develop those virtues in themselves.
While doing all of this, be careful that you are not influenced by what others insist is important or what society demands from you. Each of us is unique, your family is unique and how you want to present yourself and your family is up to you individually.
When a parent is working on themselves, children are taking notice. Personal development gives parents more authority to guide and correct children, while helping yourself and them develop the virtues inside of them.
See a full list of 100 Virtues with descriptions and practices at:
https://josephmichael.coach/100-virtues/
Is there something you are struggling with in family life? Are you looking for ways to bring out the best in yourself and your children? Want to learn how the Four C’s of Successful Families can work for your family?
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Introduction to Four C’s of Successful Families
You have heard me speak of the Four C’s of Successful Families in the Virtues Pick we do each day. I do not know if there are truly any new ideas in this framework, however I am hopeful that the way this is presented will be helpful to families and individuals as they live their best lives and raise their children to be safe, healthy, successful, and happy.
Clarity
The Four C’s start with Clarity. Clarity is all about knowing ourselves, what is important to us as individuals and for our family. Clarity identifies the values we desire to live up to, the virtues we have developed well and those that we are working to attain, to balance in our life.
In the family, Clarity is also being proactive in naming what the virtues look like or what behaviors demonstrate those virtues for you and your family. Staying in a positive mode we are not creating a long list of rules, but Clarity does require that we know what our non-negotiable boundaries are and how we wish for the virtues to be demonstrated by ourselves and family members, and what the consequences are for not doing so. One of the ways that Clarity is maintained is by creating a vision and mission statement for your family. This becomes your family Constitution that you live by, make decisions and choices with and govern your life.
Communication
The second C is for Communication. As an individual I may know how I want to be treated, what virtues are critical to the success of my family, however if I do not share it with others effectively and get agreement on family values, we are going to come off as a dictator in our home. (No one likes a dictator)
Therefore, communication is about how to use language so we can appreciate, acknowledge, guide, and correct family members in an effective manner. Communicating on a regular basis about the important things for our family that leads to successful and happy members requires using family meeting times, both formal and informal. Doing so will help us to resolve conflicts, plan fun events, keep everyone on the same calendar, and discuss anything that comes up in typical family life with respect for everyone’s input.
Knowing how to talk to our children, especially when they are struggling with living the virtues they have inside themselves is critical to them learning to make decisions and motivate themselves intrinsically. In the discussions about communication there are many suggestions to help your family keep the lines of communication open throughout your family life for years to come.
Consistency
The third C is Consistency. With any practice we have, consistency is important to long-term success. Consistency in a family including how to discipline, boundaries, beliefs, routines, rituals, and family meetings. There are simple steps we can take when we are determined to be consistent in these areas. Schedules and calendars of course help in the day-to-day activities along with discussions about schedules at your family meeting.
Consistency with discipline and boundaries are one of the big areas that many struggle with – but can be overcome with the activities that are suggested in the first and second C, Clarity and Communication. When we are sure about what is important to us, what our personal goals are, what we want for our children and are communicating them well, often, and with love and respect, consistency will be much easier.
Community
The Fourth C is Community. Everything and everyone that we surround ourselves and our family with make up our community. Our community can be an asset to our family or if we do not pay attention to our community it can end up being harmful to the family. It is critical to examine our community for what it is contributing to our family.
Conclusion
We have spent time focusing on the Four C’s in Successful Families, but honestly these same Four C’s are helpful in every part of life. They can be applied to children, young adults for laying out their life , businesses, employers and employees, married, single – no matter who you are or what you want to do, if you practice Exploring and finding Clarity, Communicating Clearly, Being Consistent in your chosen actions and surrounding yourself with a Community of support and upbuilding, you will find success.
Is there one of the Four C’s that is a struggle? I am available for private coaching to help you become effective in any or all of these areas so that your family can be Safe, Healthy, Successful, & Happy!
Contact me for a free discovery session.
Zeal
Description
Zeal is the vibrant energy that arises when we dedicate ourselves to a purpose that resonates deeply with our values. The passion propels us forward, igniting our actions with enthusiasm and ardor. When we embrace zeal, we commit wholeheartedly to our vision, channeling our energy into creating positive change and pursuing what we believe to be meaningful and true.
Zeal is fueled by belief and faith—faith in ourselves, in others, or in a cause greater than ourselves. It inspires us to approach life with vigor, seeing even the smallest tasks as opportunities to contribute to a greater whole. At its heart, zeal is a celebration of purpose, lighting our way with joy and determination.
However, zeal also calls for balance. When our passion encounters differing perspectives, tolerance acts as a grounding force. It reminds us to respect others’ beliefs while staying true to our own, ensuring that our fire remains a beacon of inspiration rather than a source of division.
Zeal empowers us to live with intention, give our all, and leave a legacy of enthusiasm and commitment in every walk of life. It transforms effort into joy and purpose into action, making it a cornerstone of a life well-lived.
Affirmations for Zeal
1. I approach each day with enthusiasm and purpose.
This affirmation sets a tone of excitement and intention, encouraging a proactive mindset.
2. I dedicate my energy to what truly matters to me.
It reinforces alignment with personal values, ensuring focus on meaningful pursuits.
3. I embrace challenges as opportunities to grow.
This fosters resilience and keeps zeal alive even in the face of obstacles.
4. My passion inspires others to pursue their dreams.
Recognizing the impact of your zeal can motivate you to sustain it and share its benefits.
5. I give my full effort to every task, no matter how small.
This practice builds a habit of excellence, making zeal a part of everyday life.
6. I honor the diverse beliefs and passions of others.
Encourages balance and tolerance, preventing zeal from becoming overpowering or divisive.
7. I take time to reconnect with the vision that fuels my passion.
Regular reflection keeps your sense of purpose strong and revitalizes enthusiasm.
8. I focus on what I can do today to make a difference.
Directs zeal into actionable steps, avoiding overwhelm and fostering progress.
9. I celebrate my achievements and use them as motivation to keep going.
Acknowledging progress strengthens your commitment to your goals and keeps zeal alive.
10. I trust that my passion, guided by wisdom, will lead to meaningful results.
Combines enthusiasm with discernment, ensuring zeal remains both focused and effective.
Quotes
“Zeal without knowledge is fire without light.” — Thomas Fuller
“Zeal is a volcano, the peak of which the grass of indecisiveness does not grow.” — Khalil Gibran
“The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.” — Alfred Lord Tennyson
Zeal In Family Life
Zeal in family life is the spark that brings energy, passion, and joy into our relationships and activities. Our enthusiasm drives us to pursue our goals with purpose and dedication, turning even ordinary moments into opportunities for growth and connection.
For parents, zeal means modeling a love for life and a commitment to meaningful values. It involves showing excitement for family goals, encouraging children to pursue their passions, and approaching challenges with courage and positivity. Parents inspire zeal by living with purpose, supporting each family member’s unique talents, and fostering a home environment filled with encouragement and celebration.
For children, zeal is the joy of discovery, the thrill of learning new things, and the drive to give their best effort. It’s about following their passions, contributing enthusiastically to family life, and approaching everyday tasks with energy and a sense of adventure.
A family that practices zeal together embraces life with shared excitement and determination. They celebrate big and small achievements and face difficulties with resilience and optimism. Zeal in family life brings warmth and vitality to every interaction, creating a strong foundation of love, joy, and purpose.
Balancing Zeal
When zeal is in balance, it becomes a powerful and positive force in family life, driving us to pursue meaningful goals with energy and passion. However, zeal can become overwhelming or misdirected without the tempering influence of other virtues. To ensure zeal serves the family well, it is essential to cultivate complementary virtues that moderate its intensity while sustaining its vitality.
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Tolerance: Tolerance ensures respect for other’s beliefs and ideas, preventing zeal from becoming overbearing or dismissive of differing perspectives.
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Patience: Patience slows the urgency of zeal, reminding us that meaningful progress takes time and steady effort.
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Discernment: Discernment helps channel zeal into purposeful actions, ensuring energy is directed toward what truly matters.
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Humility: Humility keeps zeal grounded, fostering openness to feedback and an awareness of others’ contributions.
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Kindness: Kindness ensures our enthusiasm uplifts and encourages others rather than overshadowing or pressuring them.
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Resilience: Resilience allows zeal to persist through setbacks, transforming challenges into opportunities for growth.
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Moderation: Moderation tempers excessive zeal, helping us maintain balance and avoid burnout.
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Focus: Focus sharpens zeal, preventing distractions from diluting our energy and enthusiasm.
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Compassion: Compassion softens zeal’s intensity, ensuring it is expressed with empathy and sensitivity toward others.
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Wisdom: Wisdom integrates zeal with thoughtful decision-making, creating a harmonious blend of passion and practicality.
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Balancing zeal with these virtues ensures it remains a source of inspiration and vitality without becoming overwhelming or misdirected. For both parents and children, this balance fosters a nurturing environment where passion is coupled with understanding, energy with thoughtfulness, and determination with kindness. By cultivating this harmony, families can pursue their goals with enthusiasm while maintaining the well-being of every member.
Joe is a husband, father, grandfather, author, speaker, educator, course creator, and parent/family coach.
He helps parents develop unity, find clarity, communicate, and develop consistency in their parenting with the Four C’s of Successful Families. You can find his work on social media.
In addition, the Four C’s newsletter is enjoyed by many as it encourages parents to self-care, build their relationships with their partners, and raise their children.
And he loves to golf!
Wonder
Description
Wonder is the virtue of being fully present in the beauty, mystery, and awe of life. It opens our hearts and minds to the grandeur of existence, encouraging us to see the extraordinary within the ordinary. With wonder, we cultivate a childlike appreciation for the world, marveling at nature’s splendor, human creativity, and the intricate connections that weave our lives together.
To live with wonder is to embrace each moment as a treasure, finding joy in life’s tiny miracles and deeper meaning in its profound mysteries. It inspires us to reflect to notice synchronicities and subtle signs that guide us toward wisdom and truth. Wonder fosters gratitude for the preciousness of existence and its unique opportunities for growth, connection, and discovery.
Whether gazing at a starlit sky, pondering the intricacies of a single leaf, or recognizing the significance of a chance encounter, wonder allows us to experience life with a sense of reverence and joy. By embracing this virtue, we transform the mundane into the marvelous, creating a life enriched with inspiration, curiosity, and a profound sense of belonging to existence’s vast and beautiful tapestry.
Affirmations for Wonder
1. I am open to the beauty and mystery in every moment.
This helps to cultivate mindfulness and encourages you to notice the extraordinary in the ordinary.
2. I approach life with curiosity and a sense of adventure.
This mindset invites exploration and keeps the spirit of discovery alive.
3. I pause to appreciate the small miracles around me.
Taking time to reflect helps deepen your sense of gratitude and awe.
4. I welcome the unknown with a heart full of wonder.
Embracing uncertainty fosters growth and allows for surprising insights.
5. I see the world through the eyes of a child.
This helps rekindle a sense of innocence and joy in everyday experiences.
6. I marvel at the interconnectedness of all life.
Recognizing the unity in diversity enhances appreciation for the world’s complexity and harmony.
7. I trust that life’s synchronicities are guiding me toward wisdom.
This affirmation builds faith in the meaningful patterns that appear in life.
8. I find joy in learning something new every day.
Focusing on growth through discovery keeps your mind and heart open.
9. I take moments to gaze at the stars and feel my connection to the universe.
Reflecting on nature’s vastness nurtures humility and a sense of belonging to something greater.
10. I celebrate the uniqueness and beauty in others.
This practice fosters empathy and enhances your ability to see wonder in human relationships.
Quotes
“Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.” — Socrates
“When I admire the wonders of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in worship of the Creator.” — Mahatma Gandhi
“Wonder is the salt of the earth. It keeps us grounded and lifts us at the same time.” — Rabindranath Tagore
Wonder In Family Life
Wonder in family life is the shared practice of seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary, cultivating awe and curiosity in the moments you spend together. For parents and children, it is about pausing to notice the beauty, mysteries, and miracles surrounding your daily life—whether it’s marveling at a starry sky, exploring the intricate patterns in a leaf, or sharing laughter over a surprising discovery.
When families embrace wonder, they create an environment of openness and connection. Parents model this virtue by expressing curiosity, asking thoughtful questions, and demonstrating gratitude for life’s small joys. Children, in turn, are encouraged to explore, dream, and delight in the world around them. Together, families can nurture a sense of awe in nature, human creativity, and the unique qualities each member brings to the household.
Living with wonder strengthens family bonds, fostering moments of joy, learning, and connection. It reminds us to slow down, savor the present, and appreciate the beauty of life’s journey—creating memories that inspire curiosity and reverence for years to come. Wonder in family life makes the shared experience meaningful and magical.
Balancing Virtues
Wonder, when in balance, can be a profound source of joy, curiosity, and connection in family life. It inspires awe in life’s beauty and mysteries, but it also needs the grounding influence of other virtues to ensure it doesn’t lead to distraction, naivety, or impracticality. By cultivating complementary virtues, families can maintain a healthy sense of wonder while staying grounded and purposeful.
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Discernment: Helps distinguish when to pause for wonder and when to focus on practical tasks, ensuring balance between reflection and action.
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Responsibility: Keeps wonder rooted in reality by reminding us to fulfill our commitments and care for the practical needs of family life.
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Orderliness: Encourages structure in daily routines, allowing space for wonder without letting it disrupt necessary rhythms.
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Prudence: Guides us in applying the insights gained from wonder in thoughtful and beneficial ways for the family.
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Moderation: Prevents overindulgence in wonder, ensuring it doesn’t lead to escapism or neglect of other family priorities.
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Focus: Grounds wonder by helping us concentrate on what is most meaningful and relevant in the present moment.
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Patience: Balances wonder by teaching us to embrace the unknown without rushing for answers or immediate gratification.
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Humility: Keeps wonder in perspective, reminding us that we don’t have to know everything and that mystery can be a gift.
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Gratitude: Complements wonder by transforming awe into appreciation for life’s blessings, grounding it in a sense of joy and contentment.
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Resilience: Ensures that wonder doesn’t lead to disillusionment when faced with challenges, encouraging perseverance and optimism.
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Maintaining balance in virtues ensures that wonder remains a source of inspiration rather than distraction in family life. By integrating virtues like discernment, gratitude, and resilience, families can nurture a healthy sense of awe while staying grounded in their values and responsibilities. This balance promotes well-being for both parents and children, fostering a family environment that is both joyful and purposeful.
Joe is a husband, father, grandfather, author, speaker, educator, course creator, and parent/family coach.
He helps parents develop unity, find clarity, communicate, and develop consistency in their parenting with the Four C’s of Successful Families. You can find his work on social media.
In addition, the Four C’s newsletter is enjoyed by many as it encourages parents to self-care, build their relationships with their partners, and raise their children.
And he loves to golf!