Unwind and Bond: Fun Ways for the Entire Family to Relax Together!

Unwind and Bond: Fun Ways for the Entire Family to Relax Together!

6 Ways to Unwind and Bond as a Family!

We all experience moments of stress, and families are no exception. It can become especially intense when it feels like there’s no break from running errands, going to school, working, and other obligations.

The key to handling this is to make sure to take some time to relax. Unwinding isn’t just about taking a break.

Unwinding as a family can strengthen their connections by engaging in shared experiences, communicating openly, creating positive memories, building trust, problem-solving, and creating a sense of togetherness that will last a lifetime. This blog post will discuss some quick ways families can unwind together, create lasting memories, and strengthen relationships.

Tell a Story

Choose a theme that ties all the stories together. It could be something like “family vacations,” “holiday traditions,” or “funny family moments.” Having a theme will keep the stories focused and make it easier to remember them. Use old photographs or videos for jogging the memory. Get everyone involved by encouraging everyone to describe how they remember the event. Events that are fun or funny are especially bonding. This is a fun and interactive way to learn about each other’s past experiences and pass on family traditions and history.

Watch a Movie

Speaking of laughter, this would be the perfect time for a comedy—funny movies help keep the mood light. Also, laughter has been proven through various studies to lower blood pressure while at the same time stimulating endorphins in the brain, which help us relax and feel good in the moment.

Have a Hot Beverage

What about some tea or hot chocolate? Warm beverages naturally require time to drink them, which gives everyone a breather. The warmth also reduces cortisol, a hormone associated with stress (why bubble baths can be so relaxing).

Take a Walk

Exercise has so many health benefits that it should almost go without saying. The best part about walking together is that it gives time for conversation without leaving anyone out. You can use a stroller for the youngest family members. For bonus points, look for a way to walk somewhere you can appreciate nature, such as in a park or a forest. Did you know being around plants of any variety can lower stress levels?

Have a Snack

While grabbing food when stressed isn’t a great habit, a little treat can improve the mood. Having a supply of snack-size sweets allows you to enjoy them without going overboard. Watch your kids’ eyes light up when offered an unexpected sweet.

Remember the Day

If you want to unwind at the end of the day, add this game to your bedtime routine. Go around the room and ask everyone to talk about something they enjoyed or were grateful for about the day.

Practice unwinding as a family regularly, which will give everyone something to look forward to during the week when things are stressful. Here are a few examples of family night activities:

    • Movie nights
    • Game nights
    • Regular outdoor activities like biking, hiking, picnic, rock climbing, or kayaking (non-structured and the whole family can participate in)
    • Cooking together
    • Arts & Crafts
    • Reading
    • Volunteering
    • Family dinners (best when done often)

You can use any of these activities as a stage for unwinding and weekly family meetings where you can engage in activities together and have the chance to talk, listen, and share thoughts and feelings. This communication helps family members better understand each other and build stronger connections.

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

Why Unwinding Is Essential for Both You and Your Children

Why Unwinding Is Essential for Both You and Your Children

Overcome Common Barriers and Relax

We all know that unwinding is good for us. After all, think how wonderful it feels to relax after a long, difficult day! There’s no better way to shed stress or ease worry. Unfortunately, though, sometimes unwinding is easier said than done. 

If you’re having difficulty unwinding, it’s time for intentionality in your subsequent actions. First, look at some barriers to letting go and what you can do about them.

If you’re having difficulty unwinding, it’s time for intentionality in your subsequent actions. First, look at some barriers to letting go and what you can do about them.

Current Events Have You Down

The problem with being plugged in every second of the day is we become very aware of what’s happening in the world. It can lead to many worries and stress about things happening worldwide, and it seems impossible to relax at the end of the day. The fix? Limit your media exposure. For example, make a point not to watch the news before bed or allow yourself only a certain amount of time to follow the news every day.

You Feel Like There’s Too Much to Do

The problem with being busy is that it’s always possible to get busier. While this can be great news for your business, it can wreak havoc on your ability to end the day and unwind. The fix? Create a schedule where you quit all extra activities for the day at a specific time. Then, if anything is unfinished, jot it down on tomorrow’s to-do list and let it go so you can unwind properly.

You Don’t Have Time to Unwind

This can be difficult, especially if you’re used to scheduling your day to be busy. The problem? You’re leading yourself straight to burnout. The fix? It’s pretty simple. Start planning time to unwind every day. Be strict with yourself about using it.

You Don’t Think You Deserve Time Off

Unfortunately, we were taught to be productive every minute of the day since we were children. It leads to many complicated feelings about taking time off, even to unwind at the end of the day. The fix? A reality check can do wonders here. Unwinding is a crucial part of being productive. Without rest, you can’t possibly do more later. Want to go even better? Spend time rewiring your brain to accept one straightforward truth: YOU DESERVE TIME TO YOURSELF. We all do—end of story. 

All of these can be barriers for our children, too. For example, if your child’s usual way of being is interrupted, and you see changes in sleep, eating, or resting patterns, it could be that the local or world news worries them. They may need to talk and tell you how they are feeling. You may need to reassure them that you are there to keep them safe. 

In today’s world, children’s schedules are packed so tight with things that we have been told are necessary to succeed. Children need time to unwind and be children. However, scheduling them with back-to-back activities or activities every evening after school is too much for many, if not all, children. 

They deserve time off. They need time to unwind; they need time with you and your family; and, most importantly, they need you and family time. Even more importantly, they need you to set an example for them of what it means to be balanced in life.

Clarity about what is important to you and your family will help you choose how to spend your time. Don’t be influenced by what others tell you your child “should” do. Instead, relax, be your best self, and practice what you know is best for you and your family.

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

Top Ten Stress Management Strategies

Top Ten Stress Management Strategies

The Best Practices for a Healthy Mind & Body

Nothing creates more destruction to the mind and body than stress. With anxiety around what has happened, what is happening right now, and what will happen tomorrow. In fact, the American Psychological Association (APA) recently reported that, “While numbers, prior to 2020, hovered around 30-35 percent of adults admitting extra stress due to societal stressors, the pandemic has made almost half of adults (48 percent) unsure about their stability.”

Commonly people are reporting the same stress effects: body tension, quick tempered, and unexpected mood swings.

With added pressure to adapt to a different lifestyle and thought process, many adults find themselves pulling back their emotions and reducing their interactions with others in fear of rejection or community ailments. Not only does this defeat the purpose of using your other attributes, but the extra tension will begin to affect your body and mind.

Let us look at the top ten stress management strategies that you can begin today to start feeling your best again:

Meditate Those Thoughts Away

Meditation is a form of focus on a certain action or verbiage. By mentally sorting through the moment that has caused dismay, gives your brain a chance to react on a more civil response as opposed to an emotional retort.

Find a quiet area to mindfully breath and unplug physically. If you experienced harsh words, focus on the words themselves, not the meaning. Remind yourself that this is not personal. Use these few minutes to work out the emotions and keep your focus on coming back to level mood.

Walk It Out

Exercising is a great tool to use when stressed. While there may not be time to hit the gym each day, a small walk around the neighborhood can help with de-stressing. With eternal sensors working with physical sensors, the brain does not have as much energy to keep up with stress and the task at hand.

Each time you do exercise, strive to do a little more each day. If walking around the block is helping your mind, but it is still racing, try a different route or walk around twice more. Use music to keep your enthusiasm going and drink water for hydration.

Control What You Can With A Daily Schedule

When things in your life seem uncontrollable or chaotic, check yourself. Are you changing your daily tasks to accommodate others more often or finding that the day is simply too short to complete chores? Write down what must be done. Make yourself accountable to any changes and the reasons why you deterred from any activities.

If you know there are certain errands such as grocery shopping or doctors’ visits, this will fall under a controlled task. Having a last-minute lunch with a co-worker is an un-controlled task. At the end of the day, check your schedule. Mark off any items that you completed and re-schedule the undone tasks for another day.

Do Not Forget Self-Care

In times of high stress, it is a natural reaction to put your own health on the back burner. Even though this may seem doable in short spurts, the effects it is having on the body and mind can last much longer creating poor habits.

Instead of reaching for the sweats and t-shirt, put on a favorite clothing item. If your hair needs a good trim, head to the local beautician or barber for an updated look. Once a month, treat yourself to a pedicure or facial. By taking the time to care for your body, your mind is flooded with feel good endorphins instead of anxiety.

Write A Letter

While this simple act may seem like a waste of time, it has quite the opposite effect. By expressing your thoughts to the subject about how the moment affected your thought process and beliefs, you are placing those feelings into the letter instead of yourself.

If your co-worker was using certain language while engaging in conversation with you earlier in the day, instead of calling out their behavior in person, express why it bothered your day. Keep the words professional and non-threatening. Read through the letter when you are done. Now throw it away along with the negative emotions.

Crank Up The Radio

After a long day at the office, you may not be in the mood for rock music but could be comforted by softer tunes. Pick music that brings happy memories and calming moments. Focus on the music as opposed to the lyrics. By having this minor distraction available, the body and mind have a chance to adapt.

If stress is disrupting your sleep patterns, turn on some white noise music. Think trickling water streams or forest sounds. Use deep breathing exercises to relax the body. Now lay down and enjoy the music.

Engage In A Hobby

While hobbies are often listed as outdoor activities, there are multiple indoor hobbies to engage in. From sewing to painting can be done in short sessions. The idea is to pick a hobby that engages your senses and mind. Not only does this make your mind feel productive, but your body will feel more relaxed.

If anxiety keeps you from sitting too long, keep different crafts around the house. Keep crosswords or books nearby for quiet moments. Use more active hobbies during the day, like building bird houses.

Make Friends With Nature

A quick and easy way to destress is to go outside. It can be as adventurous as a hike in the mountains or as calming as sitting on your porch. By giving your internal senses something else to concentrate on, the anxiety and stress will settle down. This is also a great way to soak up needed Vitamin D.

Each day, step outside. If the week is too busy for a nature hike, grab the family and do an ice cream run. While walking to the store for your treat, stop to look at different trees and flowers. Focus on what is growing around you, instead of the brick wall of anxiety.

Seek Out Therapy

While stress is a normal reaction to life changes, it can lead to long-term effects. If you find that the anxiety is disrupting your daily schedule, try therapy. A recent study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) concluded, “19.2 percent of U.S. adults received any mental health treatment in the past 12 months.”

Use these sessions to work through the stress and how you can avoid them in the future. Practice what your counselor suggests and keep yourself on a mental schedule. Before you know it, the anxiety is quieted, and your mind can think more rationally as opposed to emotionally.

Keep Your Thoughts Positive

When going through stressful times, the mind struggles to find the pragmatic solution. Work through each negative emotion and find a positive action. By mentally repeating this constructive thought process, the stress around the moment is brought into a more positive light.

If your anxious about a job interview, remind yourself why you are the right fit for the position. “I am unsure about the programs, but I am ready to learn.” By advocating for your senses, this allows for less anxiety and more mindfulness.

In Closing

Remind yourself that some stress can be healthy for your emotions. This not only keeps you alert to your surroundings but advocates for your feelings. As famed Lee Iacocca once claimed, “In times of great stress or adversity, its always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.”

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

5 Tips for Helping You Unwind When Worried

5 Tips for Helping You Unwind When Worried

5 Tips to Help You Unwind

Some days we’d rather not go through. Let’s face it, we all go through times of intense stress and worry. The idea of unwinding at all in these circumstances can feel impossible. At the same time, it’s these bad days where we need to unwind more than ever.

With this in mind, let’s take a look at several tips designed to help you unwind even when you’re worried.

Start By Getting Back into the Moment

A lot of what we’re doing when we’re worrying is living in the future. We’re caught in a world of ‘what if’ and speculation. This is why it’s crucial to get back into the here and now. Mindfulness or meditation can help you focus on where you are right now. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Don’t allow thoughts to intrude. Instead, allow yourself to drift, thinking about what you hear or smell. It doesn’t have to take long. Even a few minutes of mindfulness will help you to unwind significantly.

Are You Being Reasonable?

What are you worried about most often? Is this a reasonable worry? Sometimes all we need to unwind is a quick reality check. You might be overthinking things. If you’re not sure if you see the situation clearly, this might be a good time to talk to someone else about what’s going on. Do they see things the same way?

Let Go

There are some things you’re not going to be able to change about what’s going on right now. Remind yourself whatever is happening is just another piece of this particular segment of your life. You will get through it. You’ll find it easier to relax if you can release what is out of your control.

Forget the Fortune-Teller

Sometimes hen we’re worried, we’re falling into the trap of thinking things are very black and white. Generally speaking, things are seldom as bad as we imagine them to be. Take a deep breath and let the situation unfold as it will without trying to predict the future.

What Are You Telling Yourself?

Sometimes we get in the habit of seeking out the negative, especially when it comes to ourselves. Could it be you’re worried about something which isn’t even true? Consider the words you use when talking to yourself. If you’re using more negative than positive phrasing, start changing the dialogue to more positive statements. It’s a lot easier to unwind when you’re not beating yourself up all the time.

While these tips might not necessarily solve the crisis in your life, they’ll help you to put even difficult times into a better perspective, allowing you to at least take some time to breathe and figure out the next steps. Truly, you’ve got this!

Remember, worrying is a normal part of life, but it’s important to not let it consume you.

Distorted thinking that starts much of our worrying crushes our self esteem with feelings of despair, failure, anger, frustration, hopelessness, resentment and anxiety. This leads to doing and saying things we later regret and never solves any problem. It only leads to a high degree of dissatisfaction in life.

While these tips might not necessarily solve the crisis you are feeling in the moment, they’ll help you to put even difficult times into a better perspective, allowing you to at least take some time to breathe and figure out the next steps.

Take it one step at a time. Focus on the present moment. Analyze your thought process. Ask yourself if you have proof to support this thought? Approach the issue from a different perspective and know you are not alone.

Believe in yourself and your abilities. You are capable of achieving great things, and you have the power to overcome any obstacle.

Keep a positive mindset, take action towards your goals.

You’ve got this!

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

The Art of Listening to Build Your Child’s Emotional Health

The Art of Listening to Build Your Child’s Emotional Health

The Art of Listening to Build Your Child’s Emotional Health

Everyone, adult or child, likes to know they are being heard.

The simplest way to reach anyone’s heart, especially your child’s, is to be receptive and respectful of their feelings. This means we need to listen with compassion, even when time is short or we feel like we know what they need to do. 

When they come to us with a dilemma, or they have made a mistake small or large, listening first is the best way to model compassion, courtesy, and respect. In the following thoughts, you will see how this is helpful when working with our children even if we may not agree with them. Listening is step number two in “the art of companioning”.

Listening helps you first

When you take the time to listen to your child, and their viewpoints, you are exposed to thoughts and feeling that you may not have considered before. Sometimes you may not like what you are hearing, you will be learning new things by listening. This helps expand your mind to be more accepting of their thoughts and understanding feelings.

Listening Helps You Develop Patience

As previously mentioned, being able to sit there and listen to something you may not agree with or you know you have the answer too, is difficult. You will have to have patience. And if you haven’t already developed the necessary patience for this task, just the practice of listening more often will help you to develop it. If you find you are struggling with the task, try to remember you are listening to learn something new. You can also listen with curiosity helping you to see where you need greater understanding. This will help you focus on the words and what they are saying more carefully.

You Expand Your Relationship

People love when others listen to what they have to say, it makes them feel important, even our children. When you take the time to listen to your child, even though you may not agree with what they are saying, you make them feel heard and understood. And this can help you connect with your child in a new way.

The Top Five Traits of a Good Listener

We mentioned that becoming a good listener is the second step in the “art of companioning”. The first step is asking an open ended question like, “What is happening?” Open ended questions allow the other person to speak from their heart. Then we need to listen with patience.

When listening to your child, we want to show empathy, but do so without taking on their feelings. In other words the key is not to over or under react to what they are saying. When a child is willing to open up to us all they really want is to be heard. Here are some ways to be that great listener.

1.    When listening to your child, your goal should be to understand their point of view. Listen to everything they say before forming your own opinion or asking probing questions. , You do not necessarily have to agree with them, just understand them. Everyone deserves, and should form, their own opinions on various topics. 

2.    Paying attention is the next trait. If you don’t pay attention you will miss out on important information, or even physical cues. Always be aware of what is going on with the person who is speaking, and don’t forget to pay attention to their clues. Notice if they are holding their stomach or if you see tears. These are signs that can be furthered explored.

3.    The action of making eye contact with the person who is speaking, shows them that you are paying attention. If you start looking around you, you are giving them the impression that you are not interested, or have become bored. 

4.    Your goal as you listen is to support, not rescue, distract, or advise. Your child has the capability to come to answers for their own situation. As a parent, when you listen in this way – and use the “art of companioning” – you are teaching your child to look inside themselves and find their awareness of the best answer. 

5.    Allow the person to finish talking. A young Maltese priest once said, “When you think you have been silent enough, be silent a little more.” This often takes a little patience, but it can be helpful for both sides. First the person has time to put their thoughts together and can vent their opinions, frustrations, and feelings. Many times as they speak a child is also measuring your response. They do this, to decide how much more information they are willing to give. Then of course, using your patience helps you to fully understand the issues. 

A good listener will also think before responding back. Sometimes parents have the trait of speaking before thinking or hearing everything, and this can lead to all kinds of awkward or difficult situations. To help your child or the other person the most, calls for asking questions that zero in on the feelings. These many times feel like general questions, but they are intended to help the child “empty their cup”. 

It is perfectly normal for your brain to want to respond quickly. Stop yourself and think before you speak! When you do ask questions, ask what and how questions and eliminate the why questions. Most of the time none of us know why – we just know how we feel. Until the child believes we know how they feel, they will not be willing to give other details.

Now the simple things we all know. It can be hard to stay focused on a person, it is normal to want to look away, especially if they are taking a long time to express themselves. If you find yourself doing this try nodding to the person or making direct eye contact with them. This signals to them that you are paying attention. Other tips that you might want to use to show that you are paying attention include: 

·      A simple verbal expression

·      Use facial expressions

·      Use body language

If you make an effort to put these five traits into play consistently, you will become a much better listener for it. Your relationship with your child will grow stronger, as will their emotional health.

Later this summer I look forward to releasing an online course titled “Virtues & The Four C’s of Successful Families”. One of the C’s – Communication – is where we will be going in great detail on companioning our children so they discover their wisdom and discernment that is in line with individual family values and vision. 

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website.