Empowering Moms Navigating the Middle School Years

Empowering Moms Navigating the Middle School Years

by | Aug 18, 2023 | Parenting

Parenting is a journey of varied challenges, but the middle school years can present a unique set of trials for mothers. Research from Arizona State University reveals that mothers of middle schoolers experience elevated stress levels and decreased well-being compared to parents of younger or older children. As you navigate between caring for a cute baby and nurturing a happy adult, here are some valuable insights to help you raising your middle school-aged children.

In the following suggestions, notice how the Four C’s of Successful Families will fuel your family to success:

Clarity: Take time to clarify in your mind who and what you want to be as a parent. What are the virtues that are most important to you and your family? How do you model them for your child, and what steps are you taking to see and acknowledge them in your children. Bringing out the best in your children begins with acknowledging the good in them, especially with middle school-age children.

Communication: Setting limits, boundaries and making household rules can easily be seen as just what the parent demands. However, when we communicate using the language of the virtues, it is easier for every person to see how they can bring those virtues out from within themselves. When household rules are based on virtues, it is not just an authority taking advantage of their position, but rather “how we do things in our house.”

Consistency: Consistency is about how we enforce our rules, but it is also about routines and rituals that, when done consistently, bring a sense of order, expectation, and security to all family members.

Community: It is so helpful to have a team around you who hold values similar to yours so that your children see that you are not the only ones who value virtues like respect, responsibility, and cooperation. Keep those kinds of friends, coaches, teachers, and others close while maintaining a clear vision for your family and yourself.

Consider the Four C’s of Successful Families as you view the following on navigating middle school challenges.

Fostering Your Tween’s Developing Independence

It’s perfectly normal for the child who once giggled at your jokes to now seek solitude in their room or engage in sibling disagreements. These years are marked by significant physical and emotional changes, so supporting your tween through this transitional phase is crucial.

1. Early Preparation: Initiate conversations about puberty and other changes. Listen actively to their concerns and provide appropriate information for their age. Watching movies together can open avenues for discussing bullying and peer pressure.

2. Setting Limits: Recognize that tweens can experience mood swings. Help them manage anger constructively by being a positive role model. Encourage them to cool off while emphasizing that aggressive outbursts are unacceptable.

3. Reasonable Boundaries: Engage in open discussions about household rules. Tweens are more likely to cooperate when they understand your perspectives and feel their input is valued.

4. Organizational Skills: As academic and social demands intensify, offer guidance on time management and homework organization.

5. Acknowledgment and Encouragement: Focus on the positives. Praise their dedication to studies and involvement in household responsibilities.

6. Exploring Interests: Encourage participation in extracurricular activities. The middle school years provide an excellent opportunity to discover new passions and boost their self-confidence.

Reaching Out for Support

As challenges become more complex, parents may find themselves feeling increasingly isolated. The transition from elementary to middle school can also impact parent relationships. Here are steps to combat this isolation and seek support:

1. Joining Parent Groups: Since making friends through playground interactions might dwindle, consider joining online discussion groups or local community gatherings for parents.

2. Bonding with Others: Collaborate with other middle school parents. Sharing experiences and even coordinating transportation can provide mutual support.

3. Enroll in Classes: If you’re grappling with the changing dynamics, explore parenting classes offered by community centers or hospitals to enhance your skills.

4. Communication with Teachers: Stay connected with your child’s educators to monitor their progress and identify areas where support is needed. Volunteer to maintain a strong involvement in their education.

5. Nurturing Your Relationship: The journey of raising a tween can either strengthen or strain your marriage. Address conflicts respectfully and maintain unity as a couple.

6. Considering Counseling: Professional guidance, whether individual or family therapy, can be valuable. Seek referrals from friends, relatives, or medical professionals.

Navigating your tween’s physical and emotional development is a cause for celebration and concern. By consistently emphasizing virtues and fostering effective communication, you can help your children flourish during their middle school years. Reach out for the support you need to guide your tweens toward a successful transition to adulthood.

 If you want to learn more about speaking the language of the virtues, setting clear boundaries, honoring the spirit of each person in your family, or helping your teen solve their problems, I would be happy to share more with you. Contact me direct by email or on social media..

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

Fueling Success: The Power of Zeal in Parenting

Fueling Success: The Power of Zeal in Parenting

by | Jul 17, 2023 | Parenting

In life’s journey, children are often told that success is achieved through hard work, dedication, and talent. While these qualities are indeed important, there’s another essential ingredient that can make a significant difference in their endeavors: zeal. Renowned English philanthropist Charles Buxton once said, “Experience shows that success is due less to ability than to zeal. The winner is he who gives himself to his work, body, and soul.”

This blog post will explore how embracing zeal can benefit children and pave the way for a fulfilling and successful life.

Passion as a Driving Force:

Zeal, often synonymous with passion, is a powerful driving force that propels individuals toward their goals. When children discover activities, hobbies, or subjects they are passionate about, they become naturally driven to invest their time and energy in them. This unwavering enthusiasm allows them to tap into their potential, persevere through challenges, and excel in their chosen pursuits.

Overcoming Obstacles:

Life is full of obstacles, setbacks, and moments of self-doubt. However, with zeal by their side, children gain the resilience and determination needed to face and overcome these challenges. When they are passionate about something, setbacks become stepping stones rather than roadblocks. They learn to view failures as valuable learning experiences and become motivated to try again, armed with newfound knowledge and a stronger sense of purpose.

Unleashing Creativity: Zeal has the remarkable ability to unleash children’s creativity and imagination. When truly passionate about an activity or subject, their minds open up to new possibilities and innovative ideas. This creative energy enables them to think outside the box, develop unique solutions, and approach problems from different perspectives. In a rapidly changing world, this imaginative thinking becomes a valuable skill that sets them apart.

Continuous Growth and Learning: Passion and zeal go hand in hand with a hunger for knowledge and continuous growth. Children who embrace zeal are naturally inclined to seek out new opportunities to learn and improve. They immerse themselves in their interests, read books, engage in discussions, and actively seek mentors or role models who inspire them. This commitment to lifelong learning allows them to stay ahead of the curve, adapt to new situations, and remain motivated in their pursuit of excellence.

Demonstrating and drawing out the virtue of zeal in children requires parents to provide an environment that encourages and nurtures their passions and interests. Here are some strategies parents can employ to foster zeal in their children:

1. Encourage Exploration: Allow children to explore various activities, hobbies, and subjects. Expose them to multiple experiences, such as art, sports, music, science, or community service. Parents can help children discover their interests and passions by providing diverse opportunities.

2. Be Supportive and Positive: Show genuine interest and support when your child expresses enthusiasm for something. Celebrate their achievements, no matter how small, and provide constructive feedback to help them grow. Encouragement and positive reinforcement go a long way in nurturing a child’s zeal.

3. Lead by Example: Be a role model by demonstrating your passion and zeal. Let your children see your dedication, hard work, and commitment to your interests or career. When children observe their parents’ enthusiasm, it inspires them to develop their own passion and zeal.

4. Create a Safe Space for Failure: Teach children that setbacks and failures are part of learning. Encourage them to take risks and learn from their mistakes. Parents can help children develop resilience, perseverance, and the motivation to keep going by fostering a safe space for failure.

5. Provide Resources and Opportunities: Support your child’s zeal by providing resources, materials, and opportunities to further develop their interests. This could include enrolling them in classes or workshops, accessing relevant books or online resources, or connecting them with mentors or experts in their chosen field.

6. Foster Curiosity and Continuous Learning: Encourage a love for learning by fostering curiosity in your child. Encourage them to ask questions, seek answers, and explore new ideas. Engage in conversations, read together, and expose them to different perspectives. Cultivating a curious mindset helps fuel their zeal for knowledge and growth.

7. Emphasize Effort and Progress: Shift the focus from solely outcome-based achievements to your child’s effort and progress. Teach them that hard work, dedication, and perseverance are essential for success. By highlighting the value of the journey, children are more likely to develop a zest for pursuing their goals.

8. Provide Time for Passion Pursuit: Allocate dedicated time for your child to engage in their passions. Help them create routines and schedules that allow for consistent practice and exploration. By prioritizing their zeal, children learn the importance of allocating time and effort to the things that truly matter to them.

9. Foster a Growth Mindset: Encourage a growth mindset in your child, emphasizing that abilities and talents can be developed through hard work and practice. Teach them that setbacks and challenges are opportunities for growth and improvement. By instilling a belief in their ability to grow and learn, children are more likely to embrace their passions with zeal.

10. Celebrate the Joy of Learning: Cultivate an environment where learning is celebrated and enjoyable. Create opportunities for your child to share their knowledge, skills, and discoveries with others. Engage in meaningful discussions, encourage their creativity, and celebrate their unique perspectives. Parents can ignite and sustain their child’s zeal by nurturing a joyful learning atmosphere.

Remember, each child is unique, and their passions and interests may vary. As a parent, it is essential to listen, observe, and adapt your approach to best support and draw out the virtue of zeal in your children. As parents, we must encourage and support our children’s passions and zeal.

By doing so, we empower them to embrace their unique interests, push boundaries, and strive for success with unwavering dedication. Charles Buxton’s insightful quote reminds us that true accomplishment depends not merely on natural ability but on our fervor and commitment to our endeavors. Let us inspire our children to pursue their dreams zealously, knowing their unwavering dedication will catalyze a purposeful and successful life.

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth

Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth

by | May 5, 2023 | Parenting, Self-care, Virtues

Setting Your Life Priorities

Are the complexities and chaos of life leaving you confused at times and struggling to figure out the next step that is best for you and your family? Whether young or old, single or with a partner, setting priorities is crucial for living a fulfilling and purposeful life. It helps us align our actions with our values and goals.

When you were young and single, your priorities often involved personal growth, self-discovery, career building, or education. The activities we took part in may have had a goal that promoted physical, mental, and emotional well-being, such as exercise, travel, or pursuing hobbies. They may also have prioritized building skills, networking, or gaining experience in your field.

In contrast, parents’ priorities often revolve around their families’ well-being and their children’s growth and development. Family bonding, attending family events, children’s education, extracurricular activities, and emotional well-being are high on their list of priorities. Of course, your career and personal goals may loom large if you are a single parent. Still, generally, like all parents, you look at how your decisions contribute to your family’s overall well-being.

Either way, making those priority decisions is hard when everything feels necessary, and you struggle. On the parenting side, you may ask, “What activities will the children participate in?” What school will they attend? “Are the children on a developmental track?” Then the hard stuff begins. What are the house rules? How will I discipline and train my children? How are consequences determined and implemented? Mike Tyson once said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” When you’re a parent, it feels like that sometimes. We all know how we planned on parenting, and then we get punched in the mouth.

Setting your life’s priorities, or, as we say in the Four C’s of Successful Families, clarity in life, is more than just what the kids’ extracurricular activities and schooling will be. More important is having a vision, identifying values, and even a mission for your family. Knowing what you want for yourself and your family is critical for every family. Decision-making comes more effortlessly with a clarification of family values. Finally, there is a peaceful feeling knowing that you are doing what is suitable and correct for you, helping you feel more fulfilled and satisfied with life experiences for you and your children.

Here are some common life priorities.

      • Family
      • Education
      • Finances
      • Friends,
      • Extended family
      • Work
      • Hobbies
      • Personal appearance
      • Health and exercise
      • Nutritious eating
      • Alone time or partner time
      • Quality time with children

How you choose your priorities depends wholly on what you value. The virtues are the foundation of those values. Recognizing, identifying, and clarifying these virtues and values may take time and effort. However, once these are clear to you, your priorities, choices, and decisions in every part of your life will be much easier.

Before you begin this exercise, please be aware that there is a danger that you must be careful about. The risk with this exercise is that sometimes our answers get tainted by social norms or the ideas others place before us. Even our long-held beliefs can influence how we think we feel and not align with our true selves. So as you answer these questions and identify your values and priorities, take your time to reflect, examine, and be confident that those influences are not diminishing your beliefs and desires.

Here is a first step:

Choose one role: parent, employee, volunteer, student, etc. You can do this with all of your roles, but for now, choose one that is high on your list of priorities.

      • Write a brief description of your best self in this role.
      • Describe how you want to be in this role.
      • How do you want to be remembered by others?
      • What is the legacy you would like to leave?
      • How will you feel successful in this role?
      • Is there someone you admire for their activities in your chosen role? What is it about them that you admire?

In the role you chose, there is also likely a corresponding role. For example, if you chose “parent,” the related part would be the child. If you selected “spouse/partner,” it would be your spouse/partner. Now answer the following questions:

      • What are your expectations of them?
      • What would make them excellent in that role?
      • How do you want to describe them in that role?
      • Who do you know that you admire in this role, and why?

As you look at the answers to all these questions, what are the recurring themes or ideas? The words you see coming from these answers are no doubt what you value the most.

Now download the list of 100 virtues or go to our “100 Virtues” page at josephmichael.coach. As you look at these virtues, which ones match what you have identified as being your best self?

Some virtues may not have yet developed the way you would like. Or you may notice some that you identify with closely and are pleased with how you show them. But, on the other hand, other virtues may appear overdeveloped—as in, maybe you should balance them with another virtue.

What is the value of this exercise? When you identify what you value the most—the virtues you respect for yourself and others—you can begin to determine what that looks like in your day-to-day life. It helps us make choices about everything by comparing those choices with who we aspire to be.

I invite you to sign up for our newsletter. It is a great way to get the Virtue of the Month and tips on relationships, parenting, and self-care. In addition, you’ll be the first to know about upcoming classes for successful families.

To sign up, visit the “Newsletter” section here on the website. Enter your email address, and you’ll receive our newsletter in your inbox on Wednesdays.  I appreciate your interest in bringing out the best in your children and yourself. We look forward to keeping you informed through our newsletter!

Zeal

Zeal

by | Jul 4, 2021 | Virtues

Description

Zeal is passion for a purpose we deeply value. We follow a vision of what is possible with enthusiasm and ardor. When we are zealous, we give our all. Zeal is fueled by our belief and faith. We do all that we can to serve a cause we believe to be real and true. We need tolerance as the ballast for our zeal when others’ beliefs differ from our own. Zeal is the fire in our belly. It illumines even the smallest task with joy.

Quote

“Experience shows that success is due less to ability than to zeal. The winner is he who gives himself to his work body and soul.”

— Charles Buxton

 The Practice of Zeal

  • I have a deep sense of purpose.
  • I am passionate about what I value.
  • I give all I have.
  • I persevere in my enthusiasm.
  • I am considerate of the perspective of others.
  • I work with joyous energy.
Definitions and practices of virtue are used with permission from the Virtues Project™.

In Family Life

The virtue of zeal in a family is a radiant flame that fuels the collective spirit and drives members to pursue their family vision and individual aspirations with unwavering enthusiasm. Zeal is the driving force that propels family members to invest time and effort into strengthening their bonds, fostering open communication, and creating cherished memories. It thrives in an environment where everyone is committed to the family’s harmony, resilience, and continued evolution. It is an essential virtue that ignites the spirit of unity and shared purpose within the family circle.

Balancing Zeal

Zeal is a powerful virtue when harnessed correctly, but it must be balanced to avoid both overdevelopment and underdevelopment. To strike a balance with Zeal, several virtues can serve as guiding lights:

      • Tolerance: As mentioned in your description, tolerance is essential when our zeal clashes with differing beliefs. It helps us remain open to diverse perspectives and fosters harmonious interactions.
      • Wisdom: Wisdom guides us to temper our zeal with discernment. It reminds us to consider the consequences of our actions and whether they align with our deeply held values.
      • Patience: Patience is crucial in maintaining a balanced zeal. It reminds us that achieving our goals might take time, allowing us to pace ourselves to avoid burnout.
      • Humility: Humility helps us keep our zeal in check by recognizing that we don’t have all the answers. It encourages us to learn from others and adapt when necessary.
      • Gratitude: Practicing gratitude can help us appreciate even the smallest tasks joyfully. It reminds us of the importance of recognizing and cherishing the present moment.

By balancing zeal, we can keep the fire of zeal burning brightly while avoiding the pitfalls of extremism and apathy. Striving for this balance can lead to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

Wonder

Wonder

by | Jul 4, 2021 | Virtues

Description

Wonder is being open to the beauty and mysteries of life. It is our soul’s appreciation for what is precious and inspiring. When we look at the grandeur of nature, fully present to the moment, it can move us deeply. When we live reflectively, we delight in the signs and wonders that appear in our lives. We are alert to synchronicities that point us toward a decision or give us deeper insight into the truth. Wonder makes our lives simply wonderful.

Quote

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.”

— Albert Einstein

 The Practice of Wonder

  • I take time to contemplate beauty.
  • I am inspired by life’s mysteries.
  • I am present in the moment.
  • I am mindful of signs and wonders.
  • I appreciate life’s synchronicities.
  • I believe that my life is meaningful.
Definitions and practices of virtue are used with permission from the Virtues Project™.

In Family Life

The virtue of wonder infuses family life with curiosity and appreciation, transforming everyday moments into extraordinary experiences. Within the bonds of kinship, wonder encourages us to see the world anew through the eyes of our loved ones, fostering a deepened connection and shared joy.

It prompts us to marvel at the growth and uniqueness of each family member, nurturing an environment of mutual respect and continuous learning. By embracing wonder, we embark on a journey of discovery together, fostering an atmosphere of open-mindedness and gratitude that enriches our familial tapestry and ensures that the fabric of love and understanding remains vibrant and robust.

Balancing Wonder

In our fast-paced lives, the virtue of wonder offers a respite—a chance to pause, reflect, and appreciate the beauty and mysteries that surround us. Yet, like any profound emotion, wonder requires a delicate balance to be truly enriching. Here’s a glimpse into the essential virtues of moderation and wisdom that help maintain our optimal state of mind in our daily lives.

Moderation: This virtue is the steady hand that prevents wonder from becoming overwhelming. It’s the art of enjoying life’s marvels without getting lost in the whirlwind of constant seeking. Moderation allows us to savor the beauty of life sustainably, ensuring that our sense of wonder remains a constant companion, not a fleeting distraction.

Wisdom: Wisdom is the compass that guides us through the intricate landscape of wonder. It helps us discern when to immerse ourselves fully in moments of awe and when to redirect our attention to other essential aspects of life. It reminds us that wonder, while invaluable, must coexist harmoniously with responsibilities and obligations.

So, as you journey through life, embrace the synergy of wonder, moderation, and wisdom. Allow wonder to awaken your soul, moderation to keep it grounded, and wisdom to guide you to appreciate the right moments. In this delicate dance, you’ll find a life brimming with joy and inspiration, where every day is simply wonderful.