Finding Balance in Self-Care
How Modesty Helps Us Avoid Extremes
Self-care is essential to maintaining physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Yet, it’s easy to fall into extremes—either neglecting our needs entirely or overindulging in unsustainable ways. The virtue of modesty provides a middle path, guiding us toward balanced, realistic self-care that nourishes us without excess or guilt.
What Does Modest Self-Care Look Like Compared to Self-Indulgence?
Modest self-care involves intentional, sustainable choices that support our well-being without becoming excessive or self-indulgent. While self-care is necessary, it can sometimes become overindulgent if it becomes an excuse for neglecting responsibilities or seeking comfort in ways that don’t truly restore us.
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- Modest Self-Care: A 10-minute walk, journaling for clarity, prioritizing rest, or enjoying a simple pleasure like a cup of tea.
- Self-Indulgence: Binge-watching shows for hours instead of addressing stressors, overspending on luxuries in the name of self-care, or avoiding responsibilities under the guise of “taking a break.”
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The key difference? Modest self-care leaves you feeling refreshed and balanced, while self-indulgence often leads to guilt or dissatisfaction.
How Do We Know When Self-Care Is Excessive or Unrealistic?
Finding balance involves acknowledging when our self-care routines start to become excessive. Consider these questions:
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- Is this self-care improving my long-term well-being or just offering short-term relief?
- Does this habit align with my values, or is it becoming an escape?
- Am I neglecting essential responsibilities under the name of self-care?
- Do I feel recharged afterward, or do I still feel drained and unfulfilled?
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When self-care becomes excessive, it often lacks boundaries and purpose. A modest approach ensures that our self-care choices fit naturally within our lives without creating unnecessary stress, guilt, or avoidance of reality.
How Can Modesty Help Us Focus on Progress Instead of Perfection?
One of the biggest challenges in self-care is the pressure to do it “perfectly.” Modesty teaches us that progress is more important than perfection. Instead of feeling discouraged when we miss a workout or don’t meditate daily, we can adopt a gentle, flexible approach that accommodates life’s unpredictability.
Ways to Practice Modest, Progress-Focused Self-Care:
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- Set Reachable Goals – Instead of aiming for an hour-long workout, commit to 10 minutes of movement and build from there.
- Embrace “Good Enough” – Self-care might sometimes mean deep breathing for two minutes instead of an entire morning routine. That’s okay!
- Listen to Your Needs – Some days require rest; others require activity. Modest self-care allows for adjustments based on what your body and mind need.
- Avoid Comparison – Your self-care routine doesn’t need to resemble anyone else’s. Focus on what works best for you without succumbing to the pressure of unrealistic standards.
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A Final Thought: Self-Care as a Lifelong Practice
Self-care should be a lifelong practice, not an occasional luxury or a task to conquer. The virtue of modesty enables us to approach self-care with balance, sustainability, and self-compassion—ensuring we care for ourselves in ways that are realistic, meaningful, and truly restorative.
Reflection Question:
What is one small, modest self-care habit you can start today that feels doable and fulfilling?
Joe is a husband, father, grandfather, author, speaker, educator, course creator, and parent/family coach.
He helps parents develop unity, find clarity, communicate, and develop consistency in their parenting with the Four C’s of Successful Families. You can find his work on social media.
In addition, the Four C’s newsletter is enjoyed by many as it encourages parents to self-care, build their relationships with their partners, and raise their children.
And he loves to golf!
