You have heard me speak of the Four C’s of Successful Families in the Virtues Pick we do each day. I do not know if there are truly any new ideas in this framework, however I am hopeful that the way this is presented will be helpful to families and individuals as they live their best lives and raise their children to be safe, healthy, successful, and happy.
Clarity
The Four C’s start with Clarity. Clarity is all about knowing ourselves, what is important to us as individuals and for our family. Clarity identifies the values we desire to live up to, the virtues we have developed well and those that we are working to attain, to balance in our life.
In the family, Clarity is also being proactive in naming what the virtues look like or what behaviors demonstrate those virtues for you and your family. Staying in a positive mode we are not creating a long list of rules, but Clarity does require that we know what our non-negotiable boundaries are and how we wish for the virtues to be demonstrated by ourselves and family members, and what the consequences are for not doing so. One of the ways that Clarity is maintained is by creating a vision and mission statement for your family. This becomes your family Constitution that you live by, make decisions and choices with and govern your life.
Communication
The second C is for Communication. As an individual I may know how I want to be treated, what virtues are critical to the success of my family, however if I do not share it with others effectively and get agreement on family values, we are going to come off as a dictator in our home. (No one likes a dictator)
Therefore, communication is about how to use language so we can appreciate, acknowledge, guide, and correct family members in an effective manner. Communicating on a regular basis about the important things for our family that leads to successful and happy members requires using family meeting times, both formal and informal. Doing so will help us to resolve conflicts, plan fun events, keep everyone on the same calendar, and discuss anything that comes up in typical family life with respect for everyone’s input.
Knowing how to talk to our children, especially when they are struggling with living the virtues they have inside themselves is critical to them learning to make decisions and motivate themselves intrinsically. In the discussions about communication there are many suggestions to help your family keep the lines of communication open throughout your family life for years to come.
Consistency
The third C is Consistency. With any practice we have, consistency is important to long-term success. Consistency in a family including how to discipline, boundaries, beliefs, routines, rituals, and family meetings. There are simple steps we can take when we are determined to be consistent in these areas. Schedules and calendars of course help in the day-to-day activities along with discussions about schedules at your family meeting.
Consistency with discipline and boundaries are one of the big areas that many struggle with – but can be overcome with the activities that are suggested in the first and second C, Clarity and Communication. When we are sure about what is important to us, what our personal goals are, what we want for our children and are communicating them well, often, and with love and respect, consistency will be much easier.
Community
The Fourth C is Community. Everything and everyone that we surround ourselves and our family with make up our community. Our community can be an asset to our family or if we do not pay attention to our community it can end up being harmful to the family. It is critical to examine our community for what it is contributing to our family.
Conclusion
We have spent time focusing on the Four C’s in Successful Families, but honestly these same Four C’s are helpful in every part of life. They can be applied to children, young adults for laying out their life , businesses, employers and employees, married, single – no matter who you are or what you want to do, if you practice Exploring and finding Clarity, Communicating Clearly, Being Consistent in your chosen actions and surrounding yourself with a Community of support and upbuilding, you will find success.
Is there one of the Four C’s that is a struggle? I am available for private coaching to help you become effective in any or all of these areas so that your family can be Safe, Healthy, Successful, & Happy!