The Five Strategies of the Virtues Project™ conceived by Linda Kavelin Popov, Dr. Dan Popov, and John Kavelin, is a blueprint for fostering a culture of virtue and character within communities and families.
Inspired by the wisdom of various spiritual traditions and drawing from psychology and educational philosophy, these strategies guide individuals and groups in identifying virtues, recognizing teachable moments, setting ethical boundaries, honoring the human spirit, and offering compassionate companionship.
When combined with the Four C’s of Successful Families framework, parents will contribute to bringing out the best in their children and themselves. Let’s describe these strategies, focusing on how they can enrich family life.
Strategy One: Speak the Language of Virtues
Language plays a key role in shaping behavior and instilling values within a family. Rather than offering criticism or vague praise, try using specific, virtue-based language. For example, instead of saying “good job,” you might say, “I really appreciated your generosity in sharing your toys.” This kind of intentional communication reinforces the particular virtue and helps family members recognize the goodness (virtue) within themselves.
Strategy Two: Recognize Teachable Moments
Every day, families face moments that offer opportunities for moral or ethical growth—these are the “teachable moments.” For example, when siblings argue over sharing a video game, parents can use this as an opportunity to discuss virtues like fairness and cooperation rather than stepping in to resolve the conflict. The goal is to encourage thoughtful decision-making instead of simply enforcing rules.
Strategy Three: Set Clear Boundaries
Boundaries act as invisible fences that create a safe and predictable environment where virtues can thrive. Whether it’s bedtime routines or guidelines around screen time, clear boundaries offer a framework that fosters self-discipline and responsibility. When enforcing these boundaries, explaining the virtues they support is helpful. For instance, “We have a set bedtime because it allows us to practice the virtues of self-discipline and consideration for others who need their rest.”
Strategy Four: Honor the Spirit
Spirituality goes beyond organized religion; it’s about acknowledging each person’s inherent dignity and value. Family traditions, shared celebrations, and simple daily rituals like eating together can all honor the spirit. These practices nurture both individual and collective growth by cultivating a sense of wonder, gratitude, and emotional connection within the family.
Strategy Five: Offer The Art of Companioning
At times, family members, particularly children, don’t need solutions—they need someone to listen with compassion. Companioning is about simply being present without attempting to “fix” things. This might look like a parent sitting beside a teenager facing social challenges, offering empathy and understanding. In this supportive space, individuals are often able to discover their own insights and resolutions, drawing from the virtues they’ve internalized through their family’s culture.
Applying the Five Strategies of the Virtues Project in your family setting could be a transformative experience. They offer a sturdy yet flexible framework for nurturing essential virtues. Each day becomes an opportunity to learn, love, and grow together, strengthening individual characters and the family. Remember that virtues are not a curriculum but a language, a dialogue that evolves with your family’s unique journey.
Stay inspired, and may your family life be enriched by the virtues you see and bring out together.
Joe is a husband, father, grandfather, author, speaker, educator, course creator, and parent/family coach.
He helps parents develop unity, find clarity, communicate, and develop consistency in their parenting with the Four C’s of Successful Families. You can find his work on social media.
In addition, the Four C’s newsletter is enjoyed by many as it encourages parents to self-care, build their relationships with their partners, and raise their children.
And he loves to golf!